Ask the painting contractor chickie.

Will work for cute clothes.

2007-04-09T02:58:00.000-07:00

Lady who owns this house has a really nice boutique and part of my payment was a cute jacket, boho flouncy skirt and some green and black tiger striped reading glasses. Before and after of the foyer & master bedroom. I did ceilings, walls and all the trim so I was in there a whole week.
Also in the last few weeks:
Twins' nursery in Fenton. (SW Humble Gold.)
One ceiling in Grand Blanc. (White.)
Kitchen & dining room in New Lathrop. (SW Vanillin.)
Foyer, living, dining room & kitchen in Grand Blanc. (Can't remember.)
And have done quite a few estimates, I'm boooked into June now. :)

Next up - RED kitchen and big-ass living/family room/foyer, color TBD, in Linden. (Lauren, I'll wave.)

The teenager, Pedro, Julio and the small yellow car.

2007-04-07T05:56:00.000-07:00

Carina & Erica at the Pleasant Grove cemetary. There are people buried there who were born in the 1700s. It's cool.

The Teenager and the Small Yellow Car.
Pablo, a chip off the old block.
Pablo, my new rock Julio, and rabbit ears. (Happy Bunny Day.)
Erica and Julio share a Moment.
Pablo posing on the bumper of the Small Yellow Car.

Pedro Contemplates the Michigan Prairie.

2007-04-05T17:45:00.000-07:00

New Lothrop, Michigan. Spring snow and farmland.
Pedro's guardian has been extremely busy painting all sorts of neat stuff, training dogs, playing and generally not paying attention to her computer.
Pedro's guardian has been working way too many damn hours and is going to go take a shower and go to bed and then drive to Ohio tomorrow in a small yellow car with a teenager.

March 16, and oops.

2007-03-27T03:47:00.000-07:00

Oops. I thought I had better after photos but I just got a couple of so-so ones.
Oh well. The walls look way better, nice sunny color compared to the blah white.
I made up the yellow because we were having a hard time getting just the right one, and painted the front door bright red.

March 12.

2007-03-27T03:36:00.000-07:00

The homeowner is Stephanie Edward's (the American Idol contestant voted off last week) aunt. Just lovely people and she has all this really cool, retro furniture and chinoiserie decor going on.
Doing up her kitchen in a couple of weeks, we'll do something pretty wild!

Big ass room done.

2007-03-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

The big-ass room.

2007-03-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

Damn. I look fat in that photo.
The tape is for faux, not for regular painting. I don't use tape to get straight lines....no good painter worth their salt does. :)

In order to build scaffolding you need a penis and testicles.

2007-03-18T11:40:00.000-07:00

I have a job this week which will require putting up three tiers of rolling tower scaffolding. I used to have some, don't any more because I so very rarely need to use it. Dead easy to put together, one person can do it.
Well, the homeowner is so clearly uncomfortable with the idea that someone with ovaries instead of testicles might attempt to erect (ha!ha! She said "erect.") this thing inside her home that I am hiring someone with a penis to come help on Monday morning.
Sigh. Never mind that I am stronger than most men who don't do manual labor for a living, and never mind that I have owned and put up scaffolding on numerous occasions all by my little chickie self.
But having a penis around will help the job feng shui or some damn thing.
::rolling eyes::

In which Pedro contemplates the Oneness of all things.

2007-03-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

Pedro is helping me on a job this week. He is reminding me to slow down and smell the Buddha. (I am busy, again.)

So, a Buddhist is walking down the street and gets to feeling hungry.
Seeing a hot dog vendor, he walks up and makes his order.
"Make me one with everything."

Too bright?

2007-03-06T03:33:00.000-08:00

Slow time of year....

2007-03-02T03:18:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of me taking an afternoon nap. Ha ha!
Actually it's Sleeping Venus by Simon Vouet.

No matter how busy I am the rest of the year, and always right through December and January, work slows down to a trickle Feb-March. Every. Single. Year.
Well, most construction type work is seasonal, anyhow. And I think there's momentum from "getting the house ready for the holidays" and then "it's a new year, let's repaint the living room like we've been promising ourselves for ages." Then, holiday bills start coming in. Taxes are due soon - or, people are waiting for tax money back. It gets very cold, and people don't want to deal with paint smell when you can't open up the house to air out.
So, I do more dog classes, work on my own house, generally hang out and play, and take care of the work that does come in. Times are tough and I got seriously underbid on two substantial jobs recently, dammit.
More time to play and more afternoon naps! :)

Seven hour Monday.

2007-02-19T14:33:00.000-08:00

Kitchen, dining room and back hall in Hartland.
The dog's name is Pal and he is utterly charming.

Monday down....Tuesday/Wednesday I'll finish a rental house I started last week, then paint a bunch of ceilings on Thursday and Friday.
Told a contractor I know sure, I'll drive as far as Livonia for a large job but sheesh that's a haul. Still, this time of year is slow...
Minimum hour each way commute, plus I'll pay the petsitter lady to come visit my dogs ; I do that on long work days because, because, ummm, I spoil my dogs.

Happy President's Day!

Howard Hodgkin and wild beast painting.

2007-02-16T01:32:00.000-08:00

Howard Hodgkin is a 75 year old English artist, these pieces are from a current Tate exhibition.
I think his work is beautiful, especially the paintings like the top three - his prints don't resonate for me as much. I like the sureness and unexpected color combinations.
Quite a few of the paintings - look at the second one down - spill over onto the frame so it's part of the piece instead of containing it. I love coloring outside the lines.

There's something I've always thought would be fun, as a housepainter. Paint completely outside the lines using whatever colors I please. Give me a house with front yard, driveway and trees. Let me paint everything. The grass, roof, windows, tree trunks, the whole enchilada. Leopard spots, stripes, big messy abstract brushwork. Whatever I want!
Decorate the roof shingles, paint tartan designs on the windows, tiger stripe the front door, spray the lawn pink, roll the driveway glossy black...heck leave a car, the family dog and your toddler playing in the driveway and I'll paint them too.

After 27 years of having to be precise and neat and painting the color YOU want, that would be pretty damn fun.

(Fauvism was an artistic style popularized by Matisse, about 100 years ago. Artists working in this style were dubbed Les Fauves, French for "wild beasts.")

Taxidermy pieces for sale.

2007-02-13T04:00:00.000-08:00

From my local craigslist:
Taxidermy pieces for sale.

The Flint Children's Museum has several taxidermy pieces for sale. These are not mounts, but full-size animals. The pieces are a Polar Bear, Moose, Black Bear, Bear Cub, two Mountain Lions, and a Jaguar. Please view the images and contact us for more information.

Flint Children's Museum
1602 W. Third Avenue
Flint, MI 48504
810-767-5437

Would'nt these look cool with your new earthen floor?

Down and dirty - feel the earth beneath your feet.

2007-02-10T06:38:00.000-08:00

For a fraction of the cost of hardwood floors, dirt flooring is making a comeback - doesn't it sound cool?
Start by pouring several wheelbarrows full of mud on your existing floor. Spread it around. Repeat. Let it dry for a few days. Brush on several layers of linseed oil, followed by a finish coat of beeswax.
Directions here.
The flooring only gets better with age, acquiring a lustrous patina like a favourite leather jacket.
I kinda want one.

Brrrr. And a wee lull.

2007-02-07T04:58:00.000-08:00

OK, update.
I have done nothing wildly interesting over the last couple of weeks.
It's been horrendously cold.
Things painted:
Much of the downstairs of a Grand Blanc house, being painted to go on the market. Beige, and Lisa did a leather finish in the half bath.
One kitchen ceiling, repaired after a leak and painted.
Sprayed a couple of ceilings.

Jeez, that's about it. Right on schedule, work is slowest during Feb-March. This week I have been mostly lounging about eating bonbons and watching daytime TV. No, that's a lie. I've been out and about and quite busy, and have work scheduled for the next several weeks. I've been doing Dog Things, Friend Things and Writing Things.
I am volunteered for a $10.00 rabies clinic (proceeds to rescue) on Friday & Saturday. I posted that craigslist ad, which is why I snuck in a recent photo of one of my dogs and her cat.
Saturday night I am going to see the movie The Queen, which I am really looking forward to! Sunday is my birthday. Oy vey. I'll be 49.

Oh, Pedro is fine. He is hibernating in my truck.

Yes, I've been working.

2007-01-31T04:09:00.000-08:00

I floated that garage, then sprayed it on one of the few almost-warmish days we had a few weeks ago. I wasn't fond of the color but then it's not my house. :)
I've been really busy, but keep forgetting to take my camera along...Febuary and March are always my very slowest months though, and except for repainting a basement and maybe a couple of little things, I have nothing much scheduled.
Actually looking forward to a little down time! Entered a few upcoming agility trials, need to enter obedience trials too, time to do a bit of wortk on my own house. Which, of course, needs painting...

Home urinals

2007-01-26T17:25:00.000-08:00

Yes, these are urinals. (And one rather yummy guy.)
In upscale homes, urinals are becoming quite the thing. Remember when bidets were a brief fad back in the mid 1990s? I don't know if urinals will catch on, but as any woman who cleans the bathroom after male family members (so to speak) will tell you, they make sense.
I rather like the whole peeing on flowers imagery.

Pedro meets Larry

2007-01-25T03:41:00.000-08:00

This is Pedro, posing with Larry who owns Trio paints.

Bad dog.

2007-01-24T02:34:00.000-08:00

Haha! That is not me, of course. I'm smaller and thinner. I'd sure like to have gotten that job, though. Beautiful house.

Getting somewhere.

2007-01-08T02:31:00.000-08:00

Some improvements to compare to the previous before photos. The blue room with fishies and waves, all beige. The 30 year old wallpaper over puke green paint, all gone. The beams and panelling, all gone and in a big ass pile in the back yard. Lisa helped rip it all down, that was rather fun. In the picture that's just the prime coat, and the trim all has to go back up.
Then I taped and floated and sanded and floated and sanded and....oh did I mention I SUCK at drywall finishing? I don't do it often enough to get good at it; there's a real art to making beautiful smooth walls with no gaps or wrinkles in the tape lines. Well, it comes out OK but I have to do about four times the work because of all the re-patching and fixing to get it right. In retrospect I should've just subbed that part out, but I don't really know any drywall people out here.
Every time Cooper lies down he leaves a little pile of drywall dust. I need to vacuum him! He has not had a bath since...March 2004. We are doing a big 3 day dog show in a couple of weeks, maybe I'll actually get him groomed. But he sure enjoys coming to work with the boss.

I'm a little dolly, short and sweet.....

2007-01-07T03:39:00.000-08:00

(To the tune of "I'm a little teapot....")

So last week I'm carrying two five gallon buckets of paint into the job. Plumber says to me, "You know, you should get you a little dolly for that."
"Got it covered," sez I, "I am a little dolly!"

Badaboom badabing.

How I spent my vacation.

2007-01-03T02:37:00.000-08:00

These are all before and during photos, of course. The waves and fish are gone, as is the wallpaper, the panelling and the beams...the whole house is going Graham "Vanilla Ice" Elite Flat and Satin, with shiny white trim. And I have a buttload of taping and drywall, ugh.

Beige, beige, alvays with ze beige.

2006-12-22T15:08:00.000-08:00

I've been painting a ton of beige and taupe rooms lately. Unfailingly tasteful and nice, but hard for me to take "oooh" photos of.
The 80lb pitbull's name is Pal. He was utterly charming and sweet.
The 6lb cat is Tigger. He was a little shit and hissed and clawed at me every time I walked too close. I was a bit nervous of him, haha.

So, two more beige jobs coming up. And Christmas. Yay! I love Christmas, just for the getting together with friends and giving gifts and eating too much and talking about everything under the sun and watching schmaltzy movies.
So, if I don't get back here until after the holidays, I'll be doing all of the above! And, I hope everyone has a lovely whatever-you-celebrate and get to hug people you like~! :)

Pedro goes to a dog show in Ohio.

2006-12-14T04:06:00.000-08:00

Pedro came with us to an agility trial in Ohio last weekend.

He's so well behaved, he didn't even have to be crated, I just kept him onleash.

Except, of course, when he was running a course. Here he is doing the A-frame, he hit all his contacts.

He had to call home so here he is on the phone.

All that talking made him thirsty, so he shared Erica's coffee.

Last run of the day, he did beautiful weaves!

Ch-ch-ch-changes.

2006-12-12T03:25:00.000-08:00

I keep forgetting to bring my camera to work, but here's pics of a few things I've done recently. Nothing terribly fancy! I have been really busy between dog stuff and work. Also painted: Really pretty pink bedroom. Pale yellow foyer and bathroom. Yellow and white laundry room, some other beige rooms....off to start a basement remodel today.
Looks like I'm booked to the hilt through January, yippee. I get a bit nervous about work slowdowns after the holidays - this is such a seasonal business - but I usually manage to stay busy.
I have more Pedro adventures! He came to a dog show in Dayton OH last weekend and got in on the action. I have pictures to prove it. The friends I was with were coming up with all sorts of silly adventures for him. For a small white rock, he is having a pretty good time. Just a blip in his existence, really, considering he probably watched life emerge from the primordial ooze, dinosaurs battle, proto-humans grunt and hunt, mountains form, oceans freeze and thaw and civilizations dawn.
I think I need to lay off the coffee.

50 minute bathroom.

2006-12-05T04:19:00.000-08:00

10:15 am.
Thaw out rollers which were in the truck all night and froze together.
Thaw out caulking (sinkful of hot water!).
Caulk around countertops, shower and tub enclosure.
Remove switchplate covers, towel & TP holder hardware, shower curtain and general bathroom detritus.
Tape baseboards - the only thing I tape if I'm not painting them. It's really hard to get a clean line along the top of the base
and it protects them from sprinkles.
Paint first coat.
OK, that took 50 minutes. Go paint baseboards in the kitchen, touch up living room where old window covering hardware was removed. Catch up on phone calls, play with their old dog, label all the paint I forgot to label when I painted the rest of the house in June, smoke a cigarette, eat some of their red and green M&Ms (my favourite flavors), smoke another cigarette, twiddling my thumbs waiting for bathroom paint to dry. Repaint bathroom, clean up.
1:20 pm.
Collect money, stop on the way home to get oil and coolant change in truck. Stop at paint store to get paint for next job.
Roads are geting WAY icy. Avoid broadsiding a school bus at a stop sign. Oopsie.
Go home, bring everything freezable into the house because it's in the teens.
Get a call, agility class cancelled because nobody wants to drive out there on the very icy roads.
6 pm.
Hey, I have the night off!
Pay bills.
Address a bunch of Christmas cards.
Decide it's too damn cold to walk dogs. Eat dinner. Chat on phone with friend and discuss Christmas dinner. (Roast leg of lamb, mint sauce, roasted potatoes with rosemary and a bunch of other, mostly fattening stuff.)
Fart around online a while.
Read Barack Obama's first book. It's excellent.
Fall asleep.
Man, what an interesting day!

Merry Christmas. Or Die.

2006-12-02T02:43:00.000-08:00

I took many photos of Cooper wearing a Santa hat and collar against different backgrounds. I tried getting him to hold a roller or paintbrush in his mouth but he is a pragmatic dog and simply didn't see the point in that. It did take quite a few dog cookies to get him sitting still and not losing the hat.
This is one of his "Merry Christmas Or Die" photos and is clearly not merry-making material.

This is the card that will go out to painting clients. Walgreens does them - $9.99 for 20 cards plus envelopes. Just do it online, then pick them up within a few hours at the Walgreens of your choice.
Woof!

Painting in silence.

2006-11-29T07:19:00.000-08:00

This is an ariel photo of a Michigan lake from this website. NOt the lake I'm working near, but probably would look similar from above.

Actually when I'm working alone (which is most of the time) I listen to NPR on my Walkman. With my cranial neurons otherwise occupied, the rest of my neurons can paint very efficiently, unhampered by conscious thought.
I enjoy company. But periodically I paint things when the homeowners are away on vacation, which makes things much easier for everyone. Homeowners don't have to put up with paint smell and the general disruption. I can leave my mess around overnight and show up for work at undoGly hours of the morning, if I want to, without having to wake normal people up.
Last Christmas/New Years I painted an entire McMansion while the homeowners were away for almost two weeks, that was great. In the process I found a diamond engagement ring behind a heavy-ass piece of furniture...they'd lost it years ago and figured it gone forever.
I just spent the last two days geting a bunch of work done before the folks got back from Thanksgiving away. They live right on a lake...I got there before it was light and watched the sun come up over the water and the swans waking up...really pretty! I want to live right on the edge of a body of water someday. The only downside I can see (apart from waterfront property anywhere being really expensive) is duck and goose poop all over the yard. The views would make it worth the bother though.

Pedro's Big Adventure

2006-11-25T09:02:00.000-08:00

I was going to name my little rock "Peter" which comes from the Greek word for stone. But, I already know a Peter so that would sound strange. Pedro is the Spanish form of Peter.
So here's Pedro, who valiantly made the 550 mile round trip drive to Chicago and back. He'd migrated to the edge of the bumper by the time we got home and got a little chilly, but otherwise he's fine.

Here is Pedro in Hyde Park, Chicago.

Pedro in a truck stop in Indiana.

Pedro back home in Michigan.

There's a little rock on my bumper.

2006-11-21T03:23:00.000-08:00

I know, I know. The fabulousness and excitement in my life is hard to beat.
This little white rock has sat on my work truck bumper for weeks and weeks. I'm sure it's been there for well over 1000 miles. City, freeway, and I have a lead foot and like to take corners as fast as I can. It's not glued on or anything.
My very own pet rock. I should name it.

Holding up pretty well...

2006-11-15T02:52:00.000-08:00

I painted this house a few years ago and just went back to do some of the interior. I was happy to see that even the windowsills on the south side of the house (horizontal surfaces exposed to sun, usually the first place paint starts failing) look practically freshly painted and perfect still. I used Graham Ceramic paint, great stuff.
Took a few pictures of the hallway, but the light is funky and it looks bright yellow. It's SW "Bagel," one of their most popular beiges.
Of course, I'm wearing a Rottweiler tshirt. :)

2006-11-14T15:33:00.000-08:00

Tabor asked what the current popular colors are.
Hmmmm. Blue based reds (burgundys, like Sherwin Williams "Fine Wine" which I painted so much for two years I was really getting sick of it) have given way to more terracotta type colors. Even orange.
Seems I've been doing more greens - not forest (sooo late 1980s) but sage, celery, spring greens.
Various shades of taupe and beige are pretty much perennials, though I notice people choosing darker shades than days of yore.
I know color fashion and trend is huge business - not just paint, but cars, fashions, technology...I will have to do a little research. There are marketing firms who work very hard at predicting future color trends so they can paint various consumer goods the color that will get the most bang for the buck!

Art!!

2006-11-14T14:38:00.000-08:00

Actually these are photos of the pants I was wearing today. I made the second one down my desktop wallpaper!
Back in Colorado I often picked up my paint at the Kwal-Howells factory store. There was an old guy there whose sole job was tinting huge paint orders for builders and large contractors. Hundreds and hundreds of gallons. So, his pants would get pretty interesting. When he wore out each pair, his wife cut out the interesting bits, framed them and sold them.
Ka-ching, huh!

Green paint, anyone?

2006-11-11T02:57:00.000-08:00

Not frantically interesting photos really...but it's my painting blog, so there!
Definitely a big improvement from the off white "builder paint."

I always leave "touch-up" paint behind....usually in the original container, all neatly labelled. However I still wind up with lots of bits and bobs of leftover paint. Test quarts, remnants from my mixing custom colors on the job and winding up with over a gallon left over, primers and whites, whatever. Earlier this week I moved all the year's paint from my outside shed to my basement for winter. Somehow, over the year I've managed to accumulate about 5 gallons of variously sage-green colored interior satin.
I've given paint away on freecycle.org before. Maybe it's time to thin the herd...

This, that & oh shit.

2006-11-08T04:39:00.000-08:00

I haven't been taking any stunningly interesting photos of recent painting endeavors. This is Jessie, who is owned by the lovely folks in a house I'm painting right now.
The oh shit part: Was painting a large house, tons and tons of new woodwork, lots of work. The owners' son's business isn't doing so well apparently and he needs money. So they decided to let him finish all the painting (he has some experience) and I got booted. Damn! That was going to be a big chunk of holiday money.
Luckily I am getting calls for other jobs, but most of them are smallish. Ah well. Work slows way down in the first few months of the year but there's always enough to keep me going.
I talked to a painter at the paint store the other day, he said most of the summer he's only been getting 25-30 hours of work every week. I've been kicking ass all summer, I guess it could be worse!

Blonde house painting joke.

2006-11-01T02:18:00.000-08:00

From this site, (which comes with a popup warning...one got through my blocker, even.)

A blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blond jokes, and of how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He rushes over and says, "Jeez, are you all right?" She slowly nods her head yes. What are you doing? he asks incredulously.

I wanted to prove that not all blonde women are dumb, she started, and I wanted to do it by painting the house. Well why do you have both a ski jacket and a fur coat on? he asked dumbfounded.

Well, she says, I was reading the directions on the paint can and it said: For best results, put on two coats.

I am not real smart but I can lift heavy things.

2006-10-29T15:27:00.000-08:00

I moved this bed, and all the furniture in this room, away from the walls, and then back when I was done painting.
One thning I have discovered in all these years of physical-type work: with proper technique, it is possible for a 140lb woman to move 500lb beds, great big entertainment centers, 32' extension ladders and other very heavy, unwieldy things.
I have moved things back in place that the guy in the house had to get his brother in law and neighbor over to help him with. (I do this just because I get a kick out of it, even though they said "don't worry, we'll move that stuff back.") Bwahahaha.
I'm strong, but it's more how you lift things than brute force. Become one with the 500lb bed, find its balance points and just move it. Quite easy, really.
Maybe when I get my new teeth completed I'll try pulling tugboats across rivers with my teeth. Hmmmm.

Here's my upper first molar.

2006-10-29T15:20:00.000-08:00

Master bedroom and bath. $750, straight trade for one of three crowns I need.
Yippee! SW "Basil" in bath, SW "Restrained Gold" in bedrom. I didn't do any trim except for baseboards.
That was an easy two day's work, one tooth down, two more to go. :)

Considered this thought provoking comment.

2006-10-24T02:26:00.000-07:00

Someone commented on my ranty post about the crazy lady, last month.
He raised some interesting points, and I decided this was worth commenting on.

Oh Man!
I feel for you.
Thanks!

HOWEVER, I'm sure you work with a contract,being a professional, and I'm sure you have a clause about payments that includes the DOWN payment. I'm sure your contract stipulates details like access to the worksite otherwise billed at $55/hr etc etc (which would include an area to wash your brushes.
Nope. No down payment on a job that is only going to take one day. Would you expect a down payment in liquid funds from, say, someone coming over to say, repair your refrigerator? Yes, I almost always have a signed, written contract and did in this instance. A down payment was required for the exterior. Balance "on satisfactory completion of all work."
No, I don't stipulate conditions in that much detail. I don't know anyone who does, for small jobs. I certainly don't stipulate a requirement for an area to wash my brushes. That's assumed a given - it's the only time in 27 years that I have been denied access to water. I don't stipulate things like "must be able to park within 100 feet of the residence" either - I assume that's also a given.

You should not tolerate any wishy washiness over color with any client, but of course that is specified on your SPEC SHEET in your contract, ISN'T IT?
Nope. Client wishy-washiness about color is a common in residential paint jobs. A painter who "won't tolerate" this with residential clients won't get much referral business, I assure you. Yes, I charge for extra trips and time for color changes. Varies with size and complexity of job.

If a client is 3" form you while you are working you should STOP and say"my insurance does not allow you or any children or dogs or cats to be in the work area. As a matter of fact, you being here is a breach of contract, and subject to work stoppage which is clearly stated in the contract you signed when you gave me my deposit. This breach of contract is billable at $55/hr until it is rectified. AND if I have to go get another color of paint, that time is also billed at the same rate, as well as my marking up the paint cost 20%.
Uh, no, haha. My insurance does not disallow any such thing and I don't specify location of clients, their children, or their pets, (in inches no less!) in my contract. That's plain silly. It might have been 4 1/2 inches, I didn't take out my measuring tape and check.
Much of my work is repeat business, all is from referrals, people live in the houses I work in and sometimes there are children and pets and adults in the same room while I work. Shocking, I know. 99.9999% of my clients are reasonable and considerate people who would be amused and possibly bemused by such demands.
I've had work done on my own houses by competent, experienced trades people. Never have I seen a contract written out in this sort of detail. Since I generally know these guys from other jobs, it's generally a "handshake" agreement and it's always worked out fine.

Don't let this mental case roll over you.
Trust me, it was much easier to walk away. I pick my battles wisely! Over the years I've had to sue in small claims court, threaten leins, block a driveway (a city councilman no less, who kept writing bad checks) and once, had my 6'4" burly ex-husband threaten to get medieval on a GC who was trying to get out of paying his subs. Last time I took someone (an attorney, no less) to small claims court, he paid up before we went to court because he was gonna lose anyhow. That was....11?12? years, and thousands of clients ago.

BTW You do have insurance, and a tax id #, and a business license, and workers comp or the proper opt-out, right?
Yes but what's that got to do with the crazy lady?

You may want to log onto www.contractortalk.com if you are unsure of any of the things I have mentioned. My name at the site is Terrence, and I would be happy to help out if I can.
I will definitely visit, when I have time. I used to hang out a little at a paintertalk forum, but that was years ago. I don't doubt your sincerity and knowlege one bit. But not all of it applies to real small contractors who work with residential clients in their homes. Maybe I'd be in the serious six figure net income bracket if I followed your advice to a T, I dunno. :)

Woo hoo, I'm gonna get new teeth.

2006-10-19T01:41:00.000-07:00

Told the dentist folks $750 for the master bedroom and bath....turns out, that's what he charges per crown. I need three crowns, then my mouth is all fixed up. I had the bone grafting (ouch, and bloody expensive too) and titanium studs put in two years ago. I never made the commitment to spend more money on the crowns - it was important to get the bone graft done. With missing teeth you start losing bone bone eventually, which over time can actually change the shape of your face! and the studs are way in the back, you can't see them. I kept hoping to run into a dentist who would trade....my regular dentist doesn't need painting.
And now I have, yippee. He said as long as we're trading, they need more painting done so hopefully I will get it done for "free." Well, I will pay for the paint, but that's no big deal. As busy as I am, it won't affect cash flow to not get paid money for working, and I'd much rather get these teeth finally done!
PS, the photo is not me, it's from this strange site.

Guess what, I painted some more stuff last week.

2006-10-18T04:18:00.000-07:00

This is always a really busy time of year. I think some people meant to get around to having stuff done, then the whole summer zips by the way it does, and the "better get it done before the holidays" kicks in.
So anyhow, I had the audacity to go away for a fun weekend, which means I got a bit behind, which means I am playing catch-up now and juggling several jobs & no time off in the foreseeable future, dammit. I haven't had time to get caught up with email and my favourite blogs - I'm looking forward to sitting down for a cozy evening online tonight! I also have dog class three nights a week so right now seems like I'm always running hither and yon.
I remember when pretty much everything I painted was various shades of beige and white. Over the last ten years, more and more people are choosing strong colors and it's much more fun for me!
This morning I am going to bid a job....one of them is a dentist. I LOVE trading. The right side of my mouth has about $5000 worth of dental work. Growing up in Europe and the Mediterranean, most dentists would yank out bad teeth instead of filling them. Consequently, I had lots of missing molars so I have some lovely fixed bridges and implants, which aren't cheap but I traded for every penny. I have three more to go on the left side, then I'll have a mouthful of beautiful teeth again. (No, I wasn't toothless, they were all back teeth!)
Anyhow I am told these folks are open to trading so cross your fingers....

Just another Monday....

2006-10-11T04:13:00.000-07:00

First thing I did Monday morning was dump a quart of paint all over the carpet. After cleaning that up, I brought in the ladder from where it had sat outside over the weekend, only to find boxelder bugs had set up residence in one of the rungs. All day I was taking wandering bugs off the walls and releasing them outside. Then I realised I had miscalculated paint amounts (you'd think I'd never do this after all these years but I still do) and couldn't finish the one big wall without a trip to the paint store 20 miles away.
Tuesday was looking pretty good though.

Har Har.

2006-10-09T02:39:00.000-07:00

(Scott - just kidding! Tee hee.)

Well, I haven't done anything thrilling in the last week and and juggling two jobs, neither of which are close to being finished. In fact I am supposed to be in two places at once today. Whoops. All my ladders and tools are in Fenton, so ding ding, they'll be graced with my presence today.
My brother came for a visit from Chicago so I didn't work for an entire weekend, the weather was absolutely gorgeous and we just hung out and Did Stuff that didn't involve my touching a paint brush.

I did have a little front deck built last week, he did a very nice job, it's really solid! I should stain it grey to match the house. Previously there were crumbling concrete steps and a falling-apart hand rail, so this is a big improvement.

Gimme a break....

2006-10-03T04:52:00.000-07:00

Pantone is a specialty high end paint company - I've heard of them; never encountered the paint.
Anyhow they are now graciously allowing their oh-so-exclusive palette of colours to be made available to the unwashed masses. Well, the unwashed masses who feel like spending $375 for a large color sample book, or a paltry $165 for your basic fan deck. (The kind available at just about every other paint store for between $10-20, free if you're a painting contractor, decorator or anyone else who might buy that brand.) I have a bag with about 15 fan decks from many paint companies and didn't spend a penny on any of them.

Anyhow, this is a bit too precious and snooty for my plebian taste! Probably a clever move - the press release went out everywhere and was reported locally - to garner the we really really want to be just like Martha Stewart and if it costs more it must be better crowd. I imagine high end decorators are going to snatch this up and start recommending Pantone paint instead of Benjamin Moore now.

I can't do the metric conversion in my head exactly but a rough guesstimate is about $150 for a gallon of their basic interior flat paint? Calling it "matte" instead of "flat" allows you to charge more I think. It's the same stuff.
The very best interior flat paint I buy - Graham ceramic flat; suitable for high traffic commercial use and scrubbable even in the flat finish - retails for a little over $50. My cost is about $37.00. It's not about cost, really - but at some point it just becomes a rip-off.
Reminds me of when Ralph Lauren first hit the market, selling for some ungodly amount of money. And it is CRAP paint. The store I used back in Denver who sold it had so many complaints about it they tried unsuccesfully to get out of their contract with RL. I think the formulas have been changed now, but do you know what the original RL paint was? Medium-grade Sherwin Williams paint, relabelled and jacked up.
Some people want so desperately to have the cachet they perceive in staged advertisements in House Beautiful, Vogue and the like. Clever marketing lets them think they get a piece of it by spending too much for consumer goods. Isn't that silly?
I don't care how good Pantone paint is - and I'm sure it's very nice stuff - it's not going to hold up, go on, wash or last three or four times better than other good paint. Once it's on the wall, nobody knows what brand it is!

The nerve!

2006-09-29T17:33:00.000-07:00

As I wrote in my other blog, I've been sorta busy with stuff and haven't been online much lately.
Anyhow, there's a subdivision named Cook Harbor in Grand Blanc MI and for almost five years I have done many jobs there - I think I have painted in about half the homes in the entire sub by now.
I was there earlier this week for a couple of days, and driving in I saw - another painter's truck! Painter trucks are easy to spot - the bumper usually has paint dripped all over and the ladders are grungy with the ends sprayed. Unlike, say, electricians' ladders, which are always clean fiberglass ones arranged with precision on the racks. (Electricians tend to be rather precise chaps.)
Anyhow - another painter, what the heck? Ha. It was not at a house I've ever painted, otherwise my feelings would be hurt. So, I didn't go beat him about the head and shoulders with my extension pole to drive him out of my turf.
Of course I'm just being silly. I don't know any other painters well around here, but back in Colorado I had a very good painter friend. We joined up on several large jobs - we combined our crews and did....let's see - the outside of a large apartment complex, which took over a month. A small shopping center; that was fun! A couple other large commercial buildings. And when he tore his rotator cuff and couldn't really work for a few months I kept his regular clients - we both did lots of rentals - taken care of so he wouldn't lose the accounts. It was a good arrangement. These days I do mostly residential repaints and work alone except for occasional help, or working with Lisa.
While it's really nice to have helpers - I hate painting baseboards and masking windows; it's great to give those jobs to someone else - it's definitely more relaxed and mellow not worrying about employees! Sometimes I'd get behind on the money end, and would literally be ill stressing about how to pay everyone on Fridays. And when I had several jobs going at once, seems all I did was drive from job to job, making sure everyone had supplies, paint, ladders, always on the phone. Keeping everything running smoothly and on time could be stressful too. Much nicer just to show up in my little truck and get to work without constantly having to run off and take care of other stuff! I do miss the camaraderie but I guess everything is a trade off.

Last exterior of the year.

2006-09-22T01:28:00.000-07:00

Painted the trim white a few weeks ago, then had to wait for a shutter color decision, then the weather got rainy and icky, then I got busy with other stuff. Beautiful sunny fall day yesterday so I buzzed back and got the shutters done.
There were two cute little toads on windowsills. One was up on the second story - how he got up there I haven't a clue.
Bye bye summer!

After.

2006-09-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

Before...

2006-09-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

I took a whole BUNCH of before photos and forgot to take all the after ones. Drat. I did a cool two-tone thing in the master bath (which was humungous), dining room, master BR, study, powder room, dining room, back hall, foyer and upstairs hallway...

Being silly!

2006-09-21T03:40:00.000-07:00

The kids got a kick out of this - it's hard to tell but the thing on the right is a dog lifting his leg and peeing. Years ago when I had a crew, I got the contract to paint several assisted living and nursing homes. We had fun taking requests from the residents and painting bizarre images on the walls before covering them up!
I remember also painting an apartment where an elderly man with I think schizophrenia lived. We had an interesting conversation while I worked. Among other things he believed Nazis had hidden listening devices in his walls so he didn't speak much. Instead, he wrote down his thoughts. On his walls. ALL over his walls. They were almost entirely covered with writing - quite strange and poetic. I had to prime all the walls to keep the ink from bleeding through and felt badly about covering it all up but he didn't seem to mind.

And here is the wall, quite sensibly covered up!

Fine Wine and Poetry Plum.

2006-09-18T04:14:00.000-07:00

Some of last week's work.

Sometimes you just can't win. A rant.

2006-09-12T02:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, for the second time in 27 years of painting, I lost my temper and walked off a job. In retrospect (and to be charitable) I think the lady had either weird agenda, mental problems, or both.

Lady calls for an estimate on painting the outside of her home. The first call is 30 minutes long, she goes on and on and on - I finally get the info, set up a time and get her off the phone.
Go look at house, big home, lots of work. I write up estimate - she also wants two bedrooms painted. Literally have to peel her off my truck so I can back out of her driveway. I am thinking, high maintenance client!
In the ensuing few weeks, she calls me several times. My estimate was higher then the others she got, she would rather have me do the job and is there a way to bring the price down. On and on she drones.
NO, there is not, if anything I should raise it because she's so annoying. I am considering not answering any of her calls at this point. I tell her it's getting too late in the year, I no longer have time to do the exterior because I'm booked up.
So now she starts calling wanting the bedrooms done. On and on she calls and drones with questions. Finally I figure the only way I'm going to get rid of this woman is either a: ignore her calls, b: tell her I died, or c: paint her stupid bedrooms.
So. I tell her, I will commit to next Sunday for you, but you must have the colors chosen and call me by Saturday so I can get paint. I tell her where to get paint testers, the whole bit. She lives 25 miles away, too far for me to do any hands-on help with choosing colors.
By Saturday afternoon she hasn't called, yippee.
4:10pm, she calls. Shit! She has chosen colors. But she is still not sure. Maybe the yellow has too much green in it, the blue might be too bright next to the drapes, blah blah blah on she goes - I can tweak the paint to make it work, I say - I promise we'll get the color you want but I must hang up and go to the paint store before they close.
Now, I am cranky. I promised a friend I'd help her move some stuff and do brunch Sunday morning. I want the day off, dammit. But OK, I'll make the best of it, it will be a tidy sum for a days work.
8:30 am Sunday, she calls to make sure I'm coming. Yes, I'm coming. 8:45 am she calls and says, is it too late to change my mind - I want flat paint, not satin. Yes, it is too late to change your mind if you want this done today. OK she says, satin is fine.
9 am, get to the job and decide to make a game of being very friendly and nice with her. As I'm unloading my stuff, I'm asking her about her garden, her cats, whatever. Chatting. Friendly. Fluffy, even.
Start tarping, caulking stuff, filling holes. She is 3" from me the whole time, and it's almost feeling hostile. Weird. Bring in wall paint.
"Is that all you brought?"
Yes.
"That's not enough paint."
Yes, it is.
"No it's not, I painted these rooms myself the last time, I know. And I want two coats."
This is enough paint, trust me.
She looks pained, oh well.
Start rolling ceilings.
"I hate to be a bitch...."
Shit.
"...but could you use a smoother roller? I don't like how that one looks."
Assuring her that the end result will be nice and smooth isn't working so I get another roller cover and hope she needs to go to church or something. At this point I am gritting my teeth, but I'm here, want to get done today.
After the first coat is on the ceiling, I ask to use her laundry room sink to clean the roller.
"My laundry room is very messy."
OK - I can use your kitchen sink, I won't mess anything up.
"No, I would rather you not use it."
Umm - well honestly it won't hurt anything; I need to be able to clean equipment. Do it all the time and leave sinks cleaner than I found them.
"How about I fill this bucket with water, you clean your tools in here, then you can dump the water in the field next door?"
Uh - no, it takes quite a bit of water to clean buckets and rollers, that won't work. I can use a hose outside.
"I don't want paint on my grass."
I won't leave any paint on your grass, it will not hurt your grass at all. It is less harmful to the environment than laundry detergent, I tell her.
"No. If the hose is long enough to reach the field next door you can use it."
Fine.
The hose is not long enough. She also does not want anything cleaned into the storm drain out front. I ask her, where would she like me to clean up? I need to be able to do this and you are not giving me any choices.
"Well," she says. "This clearly isn't going to work, you painting here."
At this point, I lose it. I'm pretty proud of myself for not swearing or slapping her. As I'm removing all my stuff, she's on the phone. "....then, she doesn't have enough paint with her. I told her I wanted two coats and she was only going to do one...."
Agh! Crazy bitch, and she got some free work out of the deal too. Fuck. Plus I get saddled with $70 worth of paint in crap colors I probably can't use. I didn't even ask her to pay me for it; I'm pretty sure that would have been a losing battle and I was about to completely lose my temper. Considered briefly taking her to small claims court just to be vindictive but that would have been too much hassle for too little money.
There. I feel better for my little rant, now. Thank you. :)

Name your very own subdivision.

2006-09-04T13:28:00.000-07:00

Say you built a subdivision - but what, oh what, to name the darn thing? Rural, yet refined. Rustic - but with the necessary soupcon of witty je ne c'est quoi. A name to evoke Estates. Landing. Mansions (though never so crude as to actually say so, perish the thort.) Hollows - a touch of olde world hobbit charm, evoking English village quaintness, supersized for today's world with a three-car garage? The ever-popular Pointe. When you add the "e" on the end to make it sound British, you get to add 10% to the asking price.
But enough speculation!
Use the handy-dandy subdivision name generator and name 25 subs in one fell swoop!

Before, during, after.

2006-09-04T03:20:00.000-07:00

Stairwell and foyer already painted, living and dining rooms to go. The dining room had been painted a fairly bright yellow - too bright, it needed to be toned down and a woolly-rolled faux finish seemed the best solution.

And here is the lovely and talented Lisa (no, this does not make your butt look too big; it's the overalls) applying the finish.

As always, looks better in real life because I don't usually take great photos.
I also painted some trim around the front of the house. One of the pillars was entirely filled with a beehive; bees were swarming in and out of a knot hole. Really, it was rather mean, but the homeowner sprayed into the hole and then caulked it closed. Poor bees. :( But it was right next to the front door and they are having a wedding here soon, won't do to have bees swarming around the festivities!

Have a marvy labor day weekend everyone, I'm not touching a paintbrush today!

Ho hum!

2006-08-29T03:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted lately because a: I haven't done any cool, photo-worthy jobs lately and b: I have not had any pithy insights to write about.
I have two upcoming jobs I'm really looking forward to, though. A McMansion with lots of dramatic colors and humungous rooms. At first they didn't think they could afford it, but I got a call yesterday and they've decided to go ahead with the whole thing. Yay! And another, absolutely gorgeous and very luxe older mansion-y type house. I put in a bid and did not hear back so I figured it was too high. Which, you know, is fine because one doesn't want to be the low bidder all the time. I don't mind at all losing a job because I've been underbid, unless I was really looking forward to doing it because it would be fun.
Anyhow, heard back yesterday and yes, I'll be doing it. The entire house is going through an extensive remodel - the homeowners moved out last March while it is all being done. They've already fired two, maybe three, painters on the job so hint hint to self, these are very demanding clients! Fine by me, it will keep me on my toes.
Today I get to go sand walls I completely resurfaced. Oh joy. I just love get about 3 lbs of drywall dust up my nose. But they are lovely people, and a nice, solid 1960s house.

Ho hum.

2006-08-25T02:27:00.000-07:00

Not the most interesting of weeks. This dark red foyer took 5 coats of paint, over three days, to finish. Gah. Did a large drywall repair and ceiling paint at another house. Gave one estimate - really beautiful home undergoing an extensive remodel.
That was about it, for this week's work.
At one point last week, I realised I'd worked 83 hours in 7 days. So really, a ho hum week is fine by me! And the foyer did look kind of cool, even though it was a pain in the ass.

Oh no! All faux!

2006-08-18T02:27:00.000-07:00

Let's take a walk through a faux McMansion.
Have you ever noticed that so many suburban subdivisions are named after what was bulldozed to lay the concrete driveways, manicured lawns and obscenely large houses? (They are never actually called houses, but homes. Houses are so....common. Homes are special. They are yours. Having a Home suggests you are rich and sophisticated.) Hidden Ponds. Oak Meadows. Wildewood Hollows. (Putting an "e" on the end of words makes it look properly British, therefore classy.) Deer Creek Estates. (Don't you like the classy "Estates" moniker?)

Pull into the driveway. Big bland house, the large front porch sporting wrought iron benches that nobody ever uses - most people in such homes always go in and out of house through the garage, from their cars. Plastic birds and a faux-stone bunny in the beautifully manicured landscaping. Decorative corn stalks placed artfully by the front door, and some carefully rusted gardening tools in an old wheelbarrow. Mond you, the nearest farm is miles away and a landscaping company takes care of the garden and lawn. Big brass door knocker on the front door, which nobody ever uses either. But it looks mansion-y, I suppose.

Inside, the place is redolent with scented candles from Bed Bath & Beyond. Warm Vanilla Cookie. Cinammon Apple Spice. Grandmas Sugar Cookie. Roasted Hazelnut. Faux-homey smells you can buy at the store, because this kitchen looks like it has never been cooked in. There are impressive-looking copper pots and pans hanging on display, a stainless steel gas stove and about an acre of granite countertop. However, the pantry and fridge contain no flour, spices, baking soda or anything else one would make Warm Vanilla Cookies with.

Look! Lots of faux food. Minute rice, "Tastes Just Like Butter" spread, low fat strawberry cream cheese, South Beach Diet granola and breakfast bars. Jars of minced garlic, a plastic lemon willed with juice. Maple "flavored" syrup. Land o' Lakes fat-free half and half. There cannot be such a thing - half and half is half cream, half milk; it's not supposed to be fat free!
Fat free, lite and diet foods make people fat, by the way. Only fat people buy these products. Ever noticed?
Lots of soda pop, bottled water, lite Cool Whip, Eggbeater low-cholesterol egg product, low fat individually wrapped "cheese" slices, lots of canned soup.

The main floor of the house is overdecorated to the hilt. Designer faux-antique chairs (surely not designed to be sat in) with artfully tossed throws and fake antique dolls. Fake oil-paintings in gilt frames, the mass produced sort with the brushstrokes imprinted on them so they look real. "Silk" (I think they're nylon or something) flowers and plants throughout the house, no real ones. Real ones are messy. And books! Books everywhere, classics, encyclopedias, vintage history books. Books in French, even. Some of these are real, though I doubt they are ever read. Others are those fake plaster books in little stacks, under the pots of fake flowers.
The only reading material are golfing and decorating magazines, precisely fanned out on the coffee table. Not another shred of printed matter in the whole house, although there are seven TVs.
I read in a decorating magazine once that going to used bookstores, one can buy old books in all colors. It is better to choose colors that complement the decor.
Big gas log fireplace, controlled with a remote.

In every bedroom, the paint colors have been carefully matched to the bedspreads. For some reason, everyone matches the paint color to bedspreads. I do not know why this is.

Lots of fake plaster, marble and wrought iron gew-gaws. Virtually every single decorator item is Made In China and bought at T.J. Maxx. I'm pretty sure these folks can afford real art and gew-gaws, but why spend money buying things from local artisans (although the local economy could really use the support) when you can do it all in one or two swoops at T.J. Maxx? Mind you, doG forbid anyone should own anything but a GM vehicle That would be unpatriotic.

The basement has Redwings hockey memorabilia everywhere, a pool table and giant-screen TV with elaborate and impressive acoustics. Basements are the Husband's domain, usually - places relatively free of frills and decorator accents. The fake prints down here are of dead pheasants, ships and antique cars. Lots of family prints; chunky midwesterners holding dead fish, golf clubs or well fed babies. Grinning men standing next to shiny Cadillac Escalades and manly Chevy Avalanche 4x4 pickup trucks. Although I doubt anyone actually does real off road driving in these.
There is a large treadmill for fake walking and a rowing machine for fake rowing. Facing the TV so one can watch fake lives while getting toned.

This was a real house, and I was so struck by the total faux-ness of it I actually took notes. Elements of this house are common to most McMansions, although I've been in several that are nicely lived in and decorated with some Real Things.

Duct tape bandaids. No, really.

2006-08-15T03:35:00.000-07:00

Now I don't feel so silly for using masking tape and a paper towel to bandage up my foot.
3M sells duct tape bandaids, very manly!
I bought some. :)

Big-ass red barn done.

2006-08-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

Big-ass red barn is done, yippee.
Next job is all drywall-repaired (yes by moi) and ready to go.

And a big-ass barn.

2006-08-11T16:30:00.000-07:00

Big-ass barn, after powerwashing and before paint.
Lovely people, too. This became quite the family affair - they even set up lawn chairs to watch us climbing around (and me gashing my foot; that was embarassing.) Unable to bear the excitement, Mom then started helping with the masking.
That's Kat, the blonde in the blue t-shirt (Actual Paid Worker) and mom on the ladder, while father and son offer encouragement and manly wisdom. I understand there may be grandchildren there tomorrow while we finish up. More free help!

In which I am a clumsy doofus.

2006-08-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

I jumped off the ladder today and cut the arch of my foot on the hand masker, which I left on the ground. Duh. Mine has a sharp serrated 14" blade and left an ouchie gash.
My "medical kit" (hahahahahahaha) wasn't as well stocked as I thought. No bandaids or anything.
However, a paper towel and masking tape worked just as well to stop me bleeding all over the inside of my shoe.

Finally done here.

2006-08-07T18:00:00.000-07:00

Whew! That job was a pain in the ass, but I'm happy with how it turned out. I have never done so much gold trim at once....that was Ralph Lauren metallic paint from Home Despot. Normally not a fan, but I must say it was nice paint to work with and comes in a huge range of metallic colours.
Lisa did all the fancy stuff - the stenciling and marble effect...check out her site, she does some very fun work.
Other jobs finished in the last month:
The purple Oprah bathroom, same house. Also some of the exterior.
A great big great room, foyer, two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Mostly a pretty taupe with white trim, except for the hall bath which was wild green.
A kitchen - blue walls and previously dark wood cabinets painted high gloss white.
Dining room/living room in a nice older house, rather staid but classy. Going back to do foyer & master.
Absolutely wild teen bedroom - fuschia on the ceiling, pink walls, & a sky-blue bathroom. Going back to do much of the rest of the house, and they have a lovely Great Dane too. :)
Another foyer. Foyers R Us.
Another foyer, how about that! And living room. That's where the nekkid guy was sunning himself and, umm, stuff, next door in full view.

Tomorrow? Staining a big-ass deck in full sun. Woo hoo.

Two whole paint-free days!

2006-08-06T05:38:00.000-07:00

Yippee! I have not really had a single day off just to chill out and do whatever in over two months. Apart from returning a couple of phone calls - more work, O joy - today, I don't have to touch a stinkin' paint brush. I have had a fairly brutal work schedule, but this happens every summer...
I do have an agility trial this weekend. Yesterday was a long day, we had some good runs but nothing stellar. It's our first AKC trial; so far we've only competed in UKC venues. All our paperwork was done yesterday, we don't run until this afternoon so I don't have to leave the house at o-dark-thirty, like yesterday - it's an hour away, which is nice and close.
Here's my doggie blog where I blether on about my cat, dogs, agility and other non-painting related stuff.

Git 'er done.

2006-08-04T03:44:00.000-07:00

The master bedroom after the wallpaper was stripped - the ceiling had a 12" border on it too.

Frames and chair rail being put up.

Master bath, removing wallpaper.

Bathroom, walls prepped and I'm painting a basecoat (we stayed with Svelte Sage.) The reason I've rolled before cutting in is because it was undecided as to whether there would be 12" ceiling molding at this point, and Larry the carpenter & I were sort of standing on each others' shoulders in there to work - he was putting up trim while I was painting; I couldn't cut in because I still had to caulk, fill and sand trim. It's only a base coat though so it can be rough, Lisa is doing a woolly over all the walls.
Lovely homeowners and it will be a fun space when it's done but good lord they've been changing their minds about things on a daily basis, it's taking forever, very annoying! A 3-4 day job has now run over a week.
All the trim is going gold metallic, pretty swish. And just wait till you see what Lisa is doing with faux stuff in here.

Oprah? Overstock.com?

2006-08-03T03:49:00.000-07:00

Not my taste, interesting though. Lisa did these in a couple of days ago, I painted the walls two shades of purple and today bright orange shelves are going to be hung.
The accessories are all purple and orange, it's a teenagers' bathroom.
Reminds me of logos for something.

Man hands!

2006-08-01T02:41:00.000-07:00

Haha! Remember the Seinfeld "man hands" episode? Actually I don't, because I don't really watch TV. But I've heard of it.
Really, I'm quite girly in many ways, but my hands are showing the effects of almost 30 years of work. I like my hands. I like beautifully manicured, pretty hands with cool nails, too, but they would look alien on the ends of my arms. I wouldn't know what to do with them; I'd be scared of hurting something. And, I like being able to open stuck jars without turning to somebody with a penis and saying "Could you open this for me?" Haha.

I am going to go get a pedicure with Lisa, and maybe I'll ask for a manicure too just to see if the nail artiste can keep a straight face. Since my hands are a lost cause, pretty much, I keep my feet nice. My toenails are always trimmed and painted pretty colors. I do them in holiday themes, too. Red, green and gold for Christmas. I had pale pink and green alternating toenails for Easter. I lost my last toe-ring in Mackinac. When I go to the Ren Fest in a few weeks, I'm looking for sparkly toe rings. The Ren Fest is a great place to find toe rings and sparkly adornments.

Re-upped my gardenandhearth.com contract.

2006-07-31T06:07:00.000-07:00

Last spring, during a slow month I started doing web content writing - fairly brainless stuff, mostly for the now defunct pagewise. Wrote keyword-rich 500 word articles on everything from aquatic cars to pest control in Texas. Paid $15 per article - really easy money for sitting on my butt at home. I could make $30 drinking coffee first thing in the morning, then go to work. Too bad pagewise folded or I'd probably still write for them, it was fun.
Somewhere in there, I became contributing editor at this painting and wallpapering micro-site for gardenandhearth. Overall, G&H is a pretty good site. Most articles are well written; many of the contributing editors are freelance writers and knowlegable about their subject.
Anyhow, to my surprise the monthly checks kept coming. I retain rights to everthing published; the revenue comes from ad clicks. I'm only talking about enough to fill my gas tank about 1/2 full once a month mind you! But still, considering each article took less than an hour to write. So, I just renewed the contract with them and the new terms will net me maybe a full tank plus a Starbucks quad grande caramel sauce latte each month and all I have to do is write five more articles in the next five months.
I just sent them one on removing wallpaper, four more to go.

We don't need no steenkin' schedule...

2006-07-30T18:10:00.000-07:00

Back when I had multiple employees and different jobs going on simultaneously, keeping everything going smoothly, avoiding downtime and pissed off customers was a constant battle - so many things out of my control!
Weather - a biggie.
Employees missing work.
Clients changing their minds about colours, or doing last minute add-ons.
Other subs not staying on schedule. Painters are one of the last trades in on a remodel or new build; we often depend on the trim carpenters, drywall guys, counters, cabinet guys, all that, to do their thing before we can do ours.

Now it's just me and a couple of part-time helpers, but I learned long ago to stay intentionally vague about start and completion times. Unless of course, there's a deadline or tight schedule. Otherwise I stay in contact with clients lined up in queue, but don't give definite time fraes until I know for sure.
Weekend before last: Plan A was Kat & I work Saturday, then I work alons Sunday and the job gets done over a long weekend.
Kat couldn't come in Saturday, which pushed the job to 3 days. Client changed their mind about colour, another paint store trip, minor hold-up. Then they decided to change all the kitchen cabinet hardware - I was painting the cabinets - and we had hinges that wouldn't hang right, then handles that didn't line up to the holes....there went several hours. I finished up after 8 pm on Monday night. Monday's job got pushed to Tuesday, but Tuesday is a short day for me because I have agility class in the evening. So, really, that one day job ran into a second day.
Which meant that the deck I was to have stained Tues-Wed got put off until doG knows when, since by now it's raining.
But that's OK because Mr McDonald's-franchise is in a sudden big hurry to get the master bedroom and bath done, so I have three people stripping wallpaper all day Wednesday (Kat, the lovely and talented Sylvia and her handsome and talented teenage son Andrew). Except now the carpenter - who was supposed to be there Thursday putting in crown molding and chair rail - is off for a couple of days but will be there Saturday. And the flat screen TV is to be installed Monday morning so that wall has to be done, except we don't have a colour decision until Saturday night. Meanwhile, I am painting a couple of rooms in another house, finish up Saturday, because the floors are coming in Monday.
So I assure Mr McDonald's-franchise I'll be there Sunday to paint the TV wall and the bathroom, with a helper.
Except, turns out we're not really clear on the colour yet, not really. (There is still indecision about which faux finish is going to be done, by Lisa.) And, the carpenter who was supposed to be there Saturday wasn't because the trim wasn't in stock. And the TV won't be installed Monday, after all.
About 1 pm, the colour - Svelte Sage - is finally decided and I'm about to go off to the paint store while Kat finished up prepping the bath walls; at least we can get a first coat on the bathroom.
Then a storm blew in, power went out for miles around, it was real dark and I said fuck it, let's go home. I'll be back tomorrow.
So I went home and took a nap.

Woo hoo.

2006-07-29T14:50:00.000-07:00

Oh boy oh boy. I bought a new shop-vac today. It has an extra long hose, 4HP, it's blue and it was on sale at Lowes for $49.95.
Yes, I am working all weekend (again.)

Another big-ass house.

2006-07-27T11:38:00.000-07:00

The shutter that's falling off had so many wasp nests behind it, it got pushed away from the brick and the bolt came loose.
The inside of this house is wild, black and gold and purple and green, oh my! I'll get some photos, Lisa is doing some crazy faux things in there.

Classic rock, Dr Laura or NPR.

2006-07-26T04:01:00.000-07:00

I wonder why, when a crew of guys are working on a house, they invariably listen to one of those classic rock stations? There was one in the Bay Area - KOME - The KOME spot on your radio! Oh, har har. The Morning Zoo chat, Two-fer Tuesdays, All American rock'n'roll. Maybe there's familiarity and comfort, like McDonalds these stations have pretty much identical formats and playlists all over the country. The DJ's - no wait, are they "radio personalities" now - are sent to classes so they all sound the same.

For a while, before AM talk radio got overrun with fat dittohead yapping and too many commercials, I and the crew would listen to local AM talk shows, those used to be great, back in the day. The dyke crew and I would turn up the Dr Laura show and yell at her, but she wouldn't listen to us, that scrawny bitch. For about three years here in MI, when I just had one fulltime helper - Luke, a sweet, 20-something neo-hippy who smelled evocatively of patchouli and pot but was an excellent worker and everyone loved him - he and I would have seperate walkmans. He'd be listening to the Dead, String Cheese Incident, Phish - crunchy granola let's all get along hippy music old and new. I've listened to NPR while I work for years. Luke & I would yell at each other through the voices in our heads. "Innagaddadavida, BAY-beee....Hey LUKE, where did you hide the damn sanding pads?....and today on the Diane Rhem show...under the drop cloth on the kitchen counter!...daDUMdaDUMdaDUMdadadadaDUM....Ok thanks!...an author explores the meaning of life..."

I've worked alongside a crew of ladies who did very nice faux painting, and they always turned up the cable TV home decorating shows, which I hate and made me nuts. When we had a couple of apartment contracts, unlucky fate would have it at times when we'd be working alongside the cleaning lady who not only wouldn't STFU with the proseletyzing but listened to some awful Christian radio. Why are Christian radio shows crammed with MLM and get-rich-quick scheme commercials? They really are; what that says about their target demographic makes me wonder.

Well, I almost forgot about the Polish Painters. I used to do quite a bit of work for an architect firm, many of their jobs were huge huge like 8000sf houses and lofts and stuff. So, they'd have us, and the Polish Painters; we'd each have a portion of the job. They had a boombox and listened to Polish punk and garage grunge tapes, now that was pretty interesting!
Speaking of which, my brother sent me an Arab rap CD. It's good, too. Yes. Arab rap music. I know, it just doesn't seem....right. But there you are, it exists and I like it.

I was going to write a whiny little entry about how many hours I am working (apart from my mini-vacation, I've been working every freaking day, often 10+ hours) and after doing dog and other necessary stuff is severely cutting into my cuddling up to the internet time. But I got sidetracked thinking about radios, I guess.

inagaddadavida, BAY-beee, daDUMdaDUMdaDUM, heigh ho, it's off to work we go, tralalalala.

Overly suspicious clients and dark secrets.

2006-07-23T04:52:00.000-07:00

Because I get all my jobs via word of mouth "advertising", clients usually - and correctly - assume I'm not going to start going through their cupboards looking for things to steal, or riffling through their mail in search of dark secrets. Like many small contractors, I am given house keys, garage keypad and alarm codes or whatever I need to get into the house while the homeowners are at work. I can see being more cautious when it's a company hired through the yellow pages or something.

Mind you, I have inadvertently found a few "dark secrets." Like the time I pulled a stove out to paint behind it, and found several XXX videos stashed there. Gotcha Mister, your wife is an A-cup and you have all these busty babe videos, hahahaha. Or when spraying a basement ceiling, I noticed some papers on top of one of the joists, only visible from the ladder. When I climbed up to move them out of the way, I discovered a stack of bank statements in the husband's name only. Gotcha, again. Or the case of K-Y jelly under the bed in the master bedroom. No,I don't ever let on, to anyone! Or at least not in any way which would identify people.

However, every once in a while, someone will be unwilling to let me into the house in their absence, or will sort of follow me around while I work. I try not to take this personally and assume they're like this with everybody, but it is annoying and even unsettling. I had one client - years ago - who, once I got the job, gave me times I could be in the house working. "On Tuesday and Thursday I am at the gym until 11 am, so you can come to work then. Next Monday I won't be home, but you can be here at 9 am Tuesday." And so on. Good grief, that was a pain in the ass; had I known there were these restrictions I would've charged a lot more since it took me much longer to do the job! Plus, she followed me around - very nice people really, and she cooked nice lunches for me too. But still.
She must have decided I was trustworthy, at least sort of. They called me back the next year to give an estimate for painting the rest of the house, and I'm ashamed to say I fibbed and said I was terribly busy and it would be at least two months before I could do any work there, so they found someone else.

Once, we painted a condo for one of the Denver Broncos players - often in the news for altercations with his wife. Anyhow, we were told by the decorator that he had hidden cameras all over the place (trust issues with the wife, I'm guessing.) Boy, that'll make you awfully careful about saying or doing anything you don't want immortalised on tape! We were scared to scratch our butts, let alone make editorial comments on their choice of color, decor, reading material or contents of the medicine cabinet, haha. Actually no, I don't bother peeking in medicine cabinets either. I'm just not interested.
In the rare (it seems rare, any more) occurence I'm in a home where there's lots of books on bookshelves, I do scan them - I love books and reading & find it interesting to see what people read.

I talked to a cleaning lady once who said in every home she cleaned, she pretended there were cameras in every room and acted accordingly. I never thought of it that way - I'd feel paranoid, I think! But honestly I - and I imagine most trades type people - am there to work, I'm not going to waste my time going through personal effects. I've had people do work in my house, in my absence and haven't given it much thought. I suppose I would'nt leave wads of cash around if I didn't know them well, and if there was anything I really didn't want someone to see, I'd stash it, clean it up, whatever.

Actually if someone is very cagey, I wonder just what it is they are hiding. Once, years ago, we had a couple act funny about having this detached garage painted when we were painting the exterior. Turns out they were growing some weed in there, had grow lights and a nice little set up. Whatever. Now, if it had been a meth lab, I would have contacted The Authorities. Meth is nasty and bad and wrong. Pot? Ehhh, so what, go for it. It's been years since I got high - decades almost. I don't even drink any more, so there you are. Personal choice, I don't care if others do, even in my own house, as long as they're not hurting anyone else or getting obnoxious.

Actually, this just reminded me. Not too long ago, helper and I painted the whole interior of a house while the owners were on vacation. I love that - don't have to worry about inconveniencing people or leaving a mess at the end of the day, it's much easier. We pulled this big-ass, heavy bedroom dresser the size of a Buick away from the wall and found a big-ass sparkly ring wedged between the wall and the dresser. I left it on top. Turned out, it was big-ass expensive bling lost several years ago and they had given it up as gone forever.

Today is Sunday and I'm off to work. Lovely older couple with a beautiful back yard. I'm painting their kitchen cabinets, hallway and guest bath. Before I go there, I have to meet two helpers who are going to start stripping wallpaper in a humungous master bedroom and bath (my house could almost fit inside it) and set them up with ladders and a steamer and all that stuff. Best get going, it is going to be another long day...

The lovely and talented Larry.

2006-07-21T03:57:00.000-07:00

That's the lovely and talented Larry, an oldtime paint guy who's owned Trio Paint in Burton MI since the 1960s. He carries Graham paint, an excellent product. He's one of a dying breed - little independent paint stores. Don't say the words Sherwin Williams, Home Depot, Walmart or Lowes in front of him! That sends him into long, bitter, muttering tirades about big chain stores carrying inferior products, and if there's no old ladies in the store he uses lots of naughty swear words.
To all six of my regular readers - don't you dare buy Behr paint from Home Despot. It is truly horrible stuff and if you buy any I will come over and spank you.

That's Larry and his lovely and talented helper Ann, who also knows a thing or two.
I do ocasionally run to Sherwin Williams for the odd paint order and I must say they have better-looking paint guys (hi, Fabio!) Although SW paint is a bit cheaper for me , I like to support independent business, and while SW has a wider range of paints and specialty coatings I prefer Graham for much of my work.
Other things I don't like about SW:
Those STUPID plastic paint buckets!!!!

You can't use them for cut buckets, what's up with that?
It's difficult to pour all the paint out.
They are not environmentally friendly.
You can't stir the paint.
When used once and resealed, the paint dries in the channel around the top of the bucket and welds the lid on so tight you have to beat on the damn thing with a hammer, repeatedly, to remove the lid.

Plus, around the time SW bumped their prices up, they stopped selling gallons. That's right. A gallon of paint is no longer a gallon of paint there, it's less. They don't tell you this. After decades of walking into paint stores and asking for a gallon of something-or-other, I feel like I should ask for 30.36 fluid ounces of Snickerdoodle Pink. Feh.
And, there have been quite a few times I've stopped in for something really basic - white interior semi gloss, or something in an ultra-deep base and they've been out of it! Now, we are talking the largest paint company on the planet, you'd think they would be better at predicting customer needs. Larry is never out of anything.

OK, I apologise for leaving you with that dorky painter joke, it was pretty bad.
I had a nice mini-vacation; here's a photo of me having a lovely time on Mackinac Island.

Go forth, and thin no more....

2006-07-16T02:48:00.000-07:00

Off on a mini-vacation up north - here's a silly painter joke.

A painter had won the contract for a large tract of homes. Half way through the project he realized he had underestimated.
In an effort to remain solvent he resorted to thinning his paint.

Months later while asleep, he was tossing and turning. In a vision an angel came to him.
"What do you want of me" asked the painter.The angel's only reply was, "repaint, you thinner."

Five things in my work truck.

2006-07-14T04:39:00.000-07:00

In the "extra cab" part behind the seats.

1: A black and white sheepskin hide from Scotland. I cannot remember why that's there, but it is very nice and soft and makes my truck smell like a Scottish sheep.

2: Cloth bag filled with paint color decks from about every paint manufacturer in the country.

3: Two week old Sunday NYT. In case I have to sit and wait for something or other, then I have something to read if I run out of phone calls to make.

4: Ox hair bristle brush, for doing very nice varnishing.

5: My emergency medical kit in a pink plastic box. Contains: Bandaids. Tweezers. Baby wipes. Crabtree & Evelyn "Sping Rain" scented lotion. A small plastic toy fox. Cacharel "Anais Anais" perfume. Swiss Army knife. Carmex lip balm in a tube (I call those my little yellow penises.) A packet of marigold seeds.
So you see, I am ready for any medical emergency.

Would you laugh or cry?

2006-07-14T02:49:00.000-07:00

Or give the little darlings away to gypsies? Send them to art school? Or smack whoever left paint accessible to the kids?
Oops.
Years ago, I left a bunch of paint, different colors, stashed outside a house, behind a garden shed for the weekend. I didn't know the homeowners were giving their son a birthday party. With lots and lots of other three year olds. Inquisitive ones. Active - fueled no doubt by birthday cake. Who figured out how to open a can of blue paint all by themselves...
You have no idea how far half a gallon of blue paint will go when it's being tracked through a back yard by an unruly gang of toddlers. Much further than the 350 square feet coverage noted on the label!
Luckily, the parents were free spirits who thought it was great their wee darlings had such a creative time. I about died when I showed up on Monday - flagstones, grass, trees, a picnic bench - everything daubed, spattered and smeared with paint.
I've learned since then to be much, much more careful about where I leave paint, and not to underestimate the ingenuity of toddlers.

Why I'm an atheist painting chickie, part 2.

2006-07-09T03:41:00.000-07:00

Well really, I'm probably more of an agnostic.
Anyhow, Leigh-Ann had this entry on Blogpound. Read it!
My comment on her blog involves painting, so it's relevant to my blog too. :)

Th chickie writes a book!

2006-07-07T03:45:00.000-07:00

OK, well I just wrote the cover. Click on it for a full size image - I did this using this silly tool.
Best I can come up with this week (which is pretty pathetic, I know) because I am working 12 hour days to get a house done by Sunday.

Why aren't there more women in construction trades?

2006-06-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

I really don't know.
Pay is MUCH better than your average undereducated chick-type job in retail.
You get stronger.
You can get a great tan.
Men really dig it. In 1981, my then-partner & I painted a formal ballroom-type space in a very popular bar in Los Gatos, CA. It took us about a week, and each evening after we got done we'd slide on down to the bar to have a few drinks and listen to the band. Daubed with paint, wearing baggy whites, no makeup and messy hair, we got hit on ten times more often than the made-up Barbie Valley girl chicks. It was almost tedious trying to repel unwanted advances.
Does anyone remember those crinkly silk dresses popular back then, that you were supposed to twist up and tie in a knot in between washings? I had a turquoise one, a mini-dress tank style thing. I kept it behind the seat of my 1964 Ford F250 (oil bath, low geared, 292, three on the tree, if you don't know what I mean you are too young!) pickup truck. Along with some high strappy shoes and a mascara wand. Black, L'Oreal, because I am worth it.
Anyhow, so I'd be all ready for anything. :)
Oh, did I mention 20-something rough carpenters in faded denim shorts, shirtless with a tan, muscles, glinting chest hair and a toolbelt....?
And you learn cool skills in construction.
And you can get some serious muscle without trudging off to a gym.
Chicks dig it too.
You get to go all different places for work, instead of the same old same old every day.
I already mentioned sweat-glistened tanned carpenters in shorts and work boots, didn't I....?
Anyhow, why don't more women do this, at least for a summer or in between other jobs? Sure, if you have a JD or MBA or experience in something else you love, do that, of course. But without degrees and experience in other fields, why do so many women restrict their opportunities to low paid, boring clerking type jobs? And then bitch about discrimination - something largely absent, at least in the trades.
I am a really lousy feminist, by the way - absolutely un-PC.

Time on my hands.

2006-06-27T03:58:00.000-07:00

Just had a last minute job cancellation, so much of this week is free. A tree fell on the homeowners' house and they decided to do the costly roof repair and get the painting done in a month or so. I was underbid on another job I thought I'd get, so that's out too.
Yay! Free time! I've not been able to fill up my week in such short notice. Though it's too bad, the truck needs a new alternator, property tax bill is due any day and I have agility classes to pony up for this evening. So a practically income-free week isn't really the best thing. I'll be able to catch up on some work around my own house, which was built in 1938 and always needs something fixed.
This is a downside to being self employed. Seems I'm either working seven days a week, or unexpectedly having time on my hands. Makes it hard to budget time and money, and I learned long ago not to give exact dates for starting or finishing a job unless I know for sure I can do it.
All sorts of things can delay a job.
Weather!
Another sub is slow. The painter often has to rely on other work to be done before we can do our thing - drywall, carpentry, gutters, whatever.
Client changes their mind about a color and it has to be re-done.
Client either adds more work to the job "as long as you're here...." or decides not to do something already planned.
Helper can't make it to work.
You remove wallpaper only to find it was about the only thing keeping crumbling plaster or rotted drywall attached to the studs. Add another two days for extensive repairs.
And so on.
So rather than annoy people by not being able to start or complete a job within a specific time frame, I'm often intentionally vague. "Oh, it will take three or four days." "I can start sometime in the week of the 10th, I will call you that weekend when I know for sure."

The exterior I finished last week is on the market. Here's the realtor's page - her photos don't do it justice, the interior is gorgeous! I painted it a couple of years ago and it's decorated beautifully.
The back was a pain in the ass - look at all those windows; every one had to be masked. The side of the house not shown was too high for my 32' ladder plus it was on a hill. I had to borrow the homeowner's big truck and put the ladder ON it, levelled with boards to compensate for the hill. It was in the 90s that day, slow going and I wasn't 100% comfortable with the ladder set up. Really hard work and I was glad to get that job finished!
Off to do about three hours of painting, then nada until Monday. Gah.

Two Dykes and a Faggot.

2006-06-22T14:53:00.000-07:00

Funny thing. Much like many people assume a male hairdresser is gay, many assume women in "non-traditional" jobs are lesbians.
When I very, very first started painting, it was with a woman I met at a Scientology party in California. Oh, what a fun crowd Scientologists are. Not. We were the only two DBs - in Scientology-speak, this is an acronym for Debased Bodies. ie, non-believers. Anyhow, so we hit it off, got drunk and decided to start a painting company for fun.
Several months later, our very first real employee was a tall hunky California-surfer dude named Ross.
Not only did people assume he was our boss instead of the other way around because he was a man - they assumed Gail & I were a couple, and nobody guessed Ross was quite light in the loafers and lived with Manuel, his high school sweetheart.
So, we were all tossing around possible company names one day. Came up with quite a few. My favourite - one remembers the dumbest stuff - was "Two Dykes and a Faggot Painting Co."
You know, I kind of wish we had! I was interviewed by the San Jose Mercury News - in 1980, woman-owned trades were quite rare. Still are. They did a big front page feature in the Saturday Home Section with a really dorky photo of me standing in front of a house, paint brush in hand.
T'would have been fun to see how they would have written up the company name.

Don't paint the Miata!

2006-06-20T03:03:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, when Mazda Miatas were hot new cars on the market, one of my employees (and I, by default) made a big boo boo. We had prepped a little wooden ranch style house, and the next day Greg and a helper went over there to spray it with grey oil stain.
When spraying a house one has to be careful - the excess spray can drift and sprinkle things - lawn furniture, shrubs, people's cars...if it's a still, dry day and one is using water-based material, it dries in the air and just leaves harmless paint dust. However, if it's breezy, humid, or the material is oil based, it doesn't dry and can stick to things 30 feet away.
Like brand new black Mazda Miatas.
Oops.
On the other side of the hedge, the neighbor's new car sat sparkling in the driveway. Greg didn't see it, and I should have told him to be vigilant. We'd either have people move vehicles, or cover them completely with clean plastic sheeting.)Neighbor came out, saw her car sprinkled with grey oil stain and went ballistic. Understandably so. Greg gave her my number (sometimes it's great to be able to pass the buck) and she called me, very upset. I did have insurance, apologised up one side and down the other, told her I'd pay for having her car buffed, whatever it took. Told her, get estimates, call me back and we'll go from there. She calmed down and we hung up amicably.
Never heard from her again. Isn't that wierd? I didn't even have her phone number (this was before caller ID.) I went by the house and left a note on her door. I also mentioned it to the woman whose house we just painted because I figured, better she hear it from me than a pissed off neighbor!
Not a word. I always wondered, did she die, or total the car the next day, or win the lottery, or what?
So, I lived happily ever after without having to pay for buffing out her car (that stuff wouldn't have just washed off.)
Sometimes the universe works in mysterious ways.

Ladder cleverness and lookit the view!

2006-06-16T15:10:00.000-07:00

When you need to get up on a roof which is too steep to safely work on - this is one way to get there. You need someone else to stand at the top of the ladder for weight. Then you go up, like this....

While your bad, bad helper sneaks your camera up the ladder with her and takes unflattering photos of your bum.

Here's a view from the top - 32' ladder wouldn't get all the way high enough and I had to trim with a brush on an extension pole, teetering on my tippy toes.

Another view!

And here is my bad, bad helper. Her name is Kat and I make her do all the dirty work but she is learning fast.

KILL KILL KILL KILL!

2006-06-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

When I was eight years old, I was swarmed by bees and stung quite badly. For years & years, I was really scared of them - even a photo of a bee gave me goosebumps. I'm not that girly about bugs and snakes and stuff at all, I'll pick up about anything that won't bite or sting. Unless it is black and yellow and has a stinger.

Anyhow, dealing with wasps is just a part of the job, painting outside. Over the years, I've become quite brave. Because I KILL KILL KILL KILL them all. Yes! There's foaming spray that shoots 25' and makes them drop to the ground wiggling their nasty little legs in throes of horrible pain and death! Then I stomp on them! I dance on their little striped bodies until they're little black and yellow smears! I cackle! I ululate, even! KILL! KILL! YEAH!

No really. I am usually a harmless, gentle, little fuzzball and move spiders and bats and won't disturb bird nests when I'm painting. I buy employees lunch on Fridays. I'm nice to clients' pets and children and still cry when I think about Bambi's mom.

My helper and I removed 18 great big shutters from a house last week. Every single one had masses of those little black & yellow fuckers nesting behind them. I went through a case of wasp spray (the foaming kind is best because it weighs their dying bodies down, so they drop instead of flying at you which isn't nice when you're on top of a 32' ladder.)
Awesome carnage. :~)

I don't need no stinkin' scaffolding.

2006-06-08T02:50:00.000-07:00

I paint so many houses with big-ass tall foyers that last year my helper & I were going to put "Foyers "R" Us" on the side of my truck! Most take one or two days. Maybe three if there's ceilings, crown molding and trim to paint.
About every other house the homeowner exclaims "I thought you'd need scaffolding, how do you get up there?"
Handy dandy little tools and a couple of ladders. Being a bit of an acrobat (a previous crew called me Monkey-Woman and I wore the moniker with pride) helps too. Like the handy-dandy brush extender - you can adjust and angle a brush any way you need to with that. The step leveller thingie is handy too, and much safer than piles of phone books.
I owned scaffold way back when I used to paint lots of Victorian homes. Now there, it really came in handy - you can spend all day working on about 10 square feet of exterior siding and trim.
I finished up this house last week - it's the one in the previous post with the faux marble wall. Looked marvellous - deep foresty, mossy colours and a red kitchen.
PS, it's not OSHA-safe to wear Tevas on the jobsite. Well bite me. Just saying.

Faux!

2006-06-01T04:27:00.000-07:00

Here's an article I wrote for an online painting & decorating magazine. It's really a basic overview and tips; I don't go into specific techniques.
It's difficult to describe "how to" in print, but many techniques are easy and really quite dramatic. Most paint store and big box home centers have whole displays for faux. Booklets with instructions, videos and all the tools you'll need. Check for faux painting workshops - one of my local Sherwin Williams stores has them every few months and I've seen them advertised at Home Despot.
Paint is really forgiving - experiment and have fun!
If you don't want to try yourself, call an expert. We appreciate the business. :)

You can supersize any of the photos here to see more detail, just click on the pic.

The cool half bath

2006-05-05T05:01:00.000-07:00

2006-05-05T04:48:00.000-07:00

Huh. Should have taken before photos, & there aren't great. The walls were deep blue with light stained trim and a beige ceiling before, took me three days to repaint everything! Graham ceramic matte on the walls, awesome paint but $45 a gallon at my cost (60% of retail.) Yikes.
The funny thing, three years ago I painted this room deep red and just about when I was done, minds got changed and we did the blue. Now it's red again. I've painted almost the entire house over the last few years, check out the cool half bath.

Garden and Hearth.

2006-04-29T17:15:00.000-07:00

Last spring I had a couple of slow months (construction is a rather seasonal occupation) and tried several online content writing gigs. It was amusing but didn't pay terribly well. Anyhow, I got to be the paint & wallpaper "editor" of gardenandhearth.com - a home arts website. I'll get a portion of the ad revenue forever, I guess. Which amounts to enough to half-fill the gas tank in my pickup every month or so...I also keep the rights to whatever I write, for what that's worth.
Sheesh, I haven't contributed anything there since last summer. My contract with them called for 11 articles; I wrote them 17 so I've fulfilled it, I guess. Every now and then they send me popular search terms, in case I want to spit out another one. Apparently "removing wallpaper" is a hot topic.
I'm rather gratified to see that googling various relevant terms brings my articles up on the first page or two, which means I've inserted plenty of good keywords.

well crap.

2006-04-29T16:59:00.000-07:00

I am finding it much easier to actually paint than to write about it. And, I've been working pretty much seven days a week lately. I hope nobody is actually looking at this, since I haven't done squat. Since I wrote the first entry, 12 days ago I have done these jobs:
*Painted a kitchen, living room, hall and laundry room. Beige and deep red. (Sherwin William "Fine Wine.")
*Large living room, was navy blue with oak trim (I painted the walls three years ago.) New furniture, so a repaint. It is now deep Chinese red, ceramic paint, with glossy white trim. Looks beautimus. Also doing the kitchen & dining room, color TBD. Have wallpaper half stripped, going back next week. Oh joy. Have found a part-time person to help with unpleasant, brainless stuff like stripping wallpaper...she starts Thursday. I miss having minions.
*Two bathrooms and a front door (blue.)
*Red front door, and sprayed the garage interior. (Cute homeowner.)
*Almost hounded the flakey contractor into paying me. Cash. Monday, almost 2 grand, for a job I finished almost a month ago. (Putz.)
*Painted big-ass 2 story foyer and custom half bath.
*And two ceilings and a basement stairwell, for $100 and a new video camera which is technologically daunting. Looks good though.

Holy crap, I've done a lot in less than two weeks. I rock. Damn.
Work lined up well into the foreseeable future, exterior season is starting soon. Woo hoo.

Well here we are!

2006-04-17T02:15:00.000-07:00

In a McMansion owned by someone who runs training camps for the Detroit Pistons.
Which (I had to look it up) is a basketball team. Medium sized balls.
The higher up the socio-economic ladder one is, the smaller the balls they play with. Think golf. Golf clubs, exclusive country clubs (what's with the violent club imagery thing), holes in one, nine-irons and Lexus SUVs.
Great big beach balls? Little kids, who can't afford anything and don't own much.
Anyhow. What an articulate first post this is turning out to be! Not.
I painted a bunch of high walls, and a study on Friday and Saturday. My friend Lisa the faux painter lady did her cool swirly fuzzy painty thing in various rooms.
Here's her website.
That's Lisa and I on the ledge, then just me.