Ho hum!
I haven't posted lately because a: I haven't done any cool, photo-worthy jobs lately and b: I have not had any pithy insights to write about.
I have two upcoming jobs I'm really looking forward to, though. A McMansion with lots of dramatic colors and humungous rooms. At first they didn't think they could afford it, but I got a call yesterday and they've decided to go ahead with the whole thing. Yay! And another, absolutely gorgeous and very luxe older mansion-y type house. I put in a bid and did not hear back so I figured it was too high. Which, you know, is fine because one doesn't want to be the low bidder all the time. I don't mind at all losing a job because I've been underbid, unless I was really looking forward to doing it because it would be fun.
Anyhow, heard back yesterday and yes, I'll be doing it. The entire house is going through an
extensive remodel - the homeowners moved out last March while it is all being done. They've already fired two, maybe three, painters on the job so hint hint to self, these are very demanding clients! Fine by me, it will keep me on my toes.
Today I get to go sand walls I completely resurfaced. Oh joy. I just love get about 3 lbs of drywall dust up my nose. But they are lovely people, and a nice, solid 1960s house.
Ho hum.
Not the most interesting of weeks. This dark red foyer took 5 coats of paint, over three days, to finish. Gah. Did a large drywall repair and ceiling paint at another house. Gave one estimate - really beautiful home undergoing an extensive remodel.
That was about it, for this week's work.
At one point last week, I realised I'd worked 83 hours in 7 days. So really, a ho hum week is fine by me! And the foyer did look kind of cool, even though it was a pain in the ass.
Oh no! All faux!
Let's take a walk through a faux
McMansion. Have you ever noticed that so many suburban subdivisions are named after what was bulldozed to lay the concrete driveways, manicured lawns and obscenely large houses? (They are never actually called houses, but homes. Houses are so....common. Homes are special. They are yours. Having a Home suggests you are rich and sophisticated.) Hidden Ponds. Oak Meadows. Wildewood Hollows. (Putting an "e" on the end of words makes it look properly British, therefore classy.) Deer Creek Estates. (Don't you like the classy "Estates" moniker?)
Pull into the driveway. Big bland house, the large front porch sporting wrought iron benches that nobody ever uses - most people in such homes always go in and out of house through the garage, from their cars. Plastic birds and a faux-stone bunny in the beautifully manicured landscaping. Decorative corn stalks placed artfully by the front door, and some carefully rusted gardening tools in an old wheelbarrow. Mond you, the nearest farm is miles away and a landscaping company takes care of the garden and lawn. Big brass door knocker on the front door, which nobody ever uses either. But it looks mansion-y, I suppose.
Inside, the place is redolent with scented candles from Bed Bath & Beyond. Warm Vanilla Cookie. Cinammon Apple Spice. Grandmas Sugar Cookie. Roasted Hazelnut. Faux-homey smells you can buy at the store, because this kitchen looks like it has never been cooked in. There are impressive-looking copper pots and pans hanging on display, a stainless steel gas stove and about an acre of granite countertop. However, the pantry and fridge contain no flour, spices, baking soda or anything else one would make Warm Vanilla Cookies with.
Look!
Lots of faux food. Minute rice, "Tastes Just Like Butter" spread, low fat strawberry cream cheese, South Beach Diet granola and breakfast bars. Jars of minced garlic, a plastic lemon willed with juice. Maple "flavored" syrup. Land o' Lakes fat-free half and half. There cannot be such a thing - half and half is half cream, half milk; it's not supposed to be fat free!
Fat free, lite and diet foods make people fat, by the way. Only fat people buy these products. Ever noticed?
Lots of soda pop, bottled water, lite Cool Whip, Eggbeater low-cholesterol egg product, low fat individually wrapped "cheese" slices, lots of canned soup.
The main floor of the house is overdecorated to the hilt. Designer faux-antique chairs (surely not designed to be sat in) with artfully tossed throws and fake antique dolls. Fake oil-paintings in gilt frames, the mass produced sort with the brushstrokes imprinted on them so they look real. "Silk" (I think they're nylon or something) flowers and plants throughout the house, no real ones. Real ones are messy. And books! Books everywhere, classics, encyclopedias, vintage history books. Books in French, even. Some of these are real, though I doubt they are ever read. Others are those fake plaster books in little stacks, under the pots of fake flowers.
The only reading material are golfing and decorating magazines, precisely fanned out on the coffee table. Not another shred of printed matter in the whole house, although there are seven TVs.
I read in a decorating magazine once that going to used bookstores, one can buy old books in all colors. It is better to choose colors that complement the decor.
Big gas log fireplace, controlled with a remote.
In every bedroom, the paint colors have been carefully matched to the bedspreads. For some reason, everyone matches the paint color to bedspreads. I do not know why this is.
Lots of fake plaster, marble and wrought iron gew-gaws. Virtually every single decorator item is Made In China and bought at T.J. Maxx. I'm pretty sure these folks can afford real art and gew-gaws, but why spend money buying things from local artisans (although the local economy could really use the support) when you can do it all in one or two swoops at T.J. Maxx? Mind you, doG forbid anyone should own anything but a GM vehicle That would be unpatriotic.
The basement has Redwings hockey memorabilia everywhere, a pool table and giant-screen TV with elaborate and impressive acoustics. Basements are the Husband's domain, usually - places relatively free of frills and decorator accents. The fake prints down here are of dead pheasants, ships and antique cars. Lots of family prints; chunky midwesterners holding dead fish, golf clubs or well fed babies. Grinning men standing next to shiny Cadillac Escalades and manly Chevy Avalanche 4x4 pickup trucks. Although I doubt anyone actually does real off road driving in these.
There is a large treadmill for fake walking and a rowing machine for fake rowing. Facing the TV so one can watch fake lives while getting toned.
This was a real house, and I was so struck by the total faux-ness of it I actually took notes. Elements of this house are common to most McMansions, although I've been in several that are nicely lived in and decorated with some Real Things.
Duct tape bandaids. No, really.
Now I don't feel so silly for using masking tape and a paper towel to bandage up my foot.
3M sells
duct tape bandaids, very manly!
I bought some. :)
Big-ass red barn done.
Big-ass red barn is done, yippee.
Next job is all drywall-repaired (yes by moi) and ready to go.
And a big-ass barn.
Big-ass barn, after powerwashing and before paint.
Lovely people, too. This became quite the family affair - they even set up lawn chairs to watch us climbing around (and me gashing my foot; that was embarassing.) Unable to bear the excitement, Mom then started helping with the masking.
That's Kat, the blonde in the blue t-shirt (Actual Paid Worker) and mom on the ladder, while father and son offer encouragement and manly wisdom. I understand there may be grandchildren there tomorrow while we finish up. More free help!
In which I am a clumsy doofus.
I jumped off the ladder today and cut the arch of my foot on the
hand masker, which I left on the ground. Duh. Mine has a sharp serrated 14" blade and left an ouchie gash.
My "medical kit" (hahahahahahaha) wasn't as well stocked as I thought. No bandaids or anything.
However, a paper towel and masking tape worked just as well to stop me bleeding all over the inside of my shoe.
Finally done here.
Whew! That job was a pain in the ass, but I'm happy with how it turned out. I have never done so much gold trim at once....that was Ralph Lauren metallic paint from Home Despot. Normally not a fan, but I must say it was nice paint to work with and comes in a huge range of metallic colours.
Lisa did all the fancy stuff - the stenciling and marble effect...check out her site, she does some very fun work.
Other jobs finished in the last month:
The purple Oprah bathroom, same house. Also some of the exterior.
A great big great room, foyer, two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Mostly a pretty taupe with white trim, except for the hall bath which was wild green.
A kitchen - blue walls and previously dark wood cabinets painted high gloss white.
Dining room/living room in a nice older house, rather staid but classy. Going back to do foyer & master.
Absolutely wild teen bedroom - fuschia on the ceiling, pink walls, & a sky-blue bathroom. Going back to do much of the rest of the house, and they have a lovely Great Dane too. :)
Another foyer. Foyers R Us.
Another foyer, how about that! And living room. That's where the nekkid guy was sunning himself and, umm, stuff, next door in full view.
Tomorrow? Staining a big-ass deck in full sun. Woo hoo.
Two whole paint-free days!
Yippee! I have not really had a single day off just to chill out and do whatever in over two months. Apart from returning a couple of phone calls - more work, O joy - today, I don't have to touch a stinkin' paint brush. I have had a fairly brutal work schedule, but this happens every summer...
I do have an agility trial this weekend. Yesterday was a long day, we had some good runs but nothing stellar. It's our first AKC trial; so far we've only competed in UKC venues. All our paperwork was done yesterday, we don't run until this afternoon so I don't have to leave the house at o-dark-thirty, like yesterday - it's an hour away, which is nice and close.
Here's my
doggie blog where I blether on about my cat, dogs, agility and other non-painting related stuff.
Git 'er done.
The master bedroom after the wallpaper was stripped - the ceiling had a 12" border on it too.
Frames and chair rail being put up.
Master bath, removing wallpaper.
Bathroom, walls prepped and I'm painting a basecoat (we stayed with Svelte Sage.) The reason I've rolled before cutting in is because it was undecided as to whether there would be 12" ceiling molding at this point, and Larry the carpenter & I were sort of standing on each others' shoulders in there to work - he was putting up trim while I was painting; I couldn't cut in because I still had to caulk, fill and sand trim. It's only a base coat though so it can be rough, Lisa is doing a woolly over all the walls.
Lovely homeowners and it will be a fun space when it's done but good lord they've been changing their minds about things on a daily basis, it's taking forever, very annoying! A 3-4 day job has now run over a week.
All the trim is going gold metallic, pretty swish. And just wait till you see what Lisa is doing with faux stuff in here.
Oprah? Overstock.com?
Not my taste, interesting though. Lisa did these in a couple of days ago, I painted the walls two shades of purple and today bright orange shelves are going to be hung.
The accessories are all purple and orange, it's a teenagers' bathroom.
Reminds me of logos for something.
Man hands!
Haha! Remember the Seinfeld "man hands" episode? Actually I don't, because I don't really watch TV. But I've heard of it.
Really, I'm quite girly in many ways, but my hands are showing the effects of almost 30 years of work. I like my hands. I like beautifully manicured, pretty hands with cool nails, too, but they would look alien on the ends of my arms. I wouldn't know what to do with them; I'd be scared of hurting something. And, I like being able to open stuck jars without turning to somebody with a penis and saying "Could you open this for me?" Haha.
I am going to go get a pedicure with Lisa, and maybe I'll ask for a manicure too just to see if the nail artiste can keep a straight face. Since my hands are a lost cause, pretty much, I keep my feet nice. My toenails are always trimmed and painted pretty colors. I do them in holiday themes, too. Red, green and gold for Christmas. I had pale pink and green alternating toenails for Easter. I lost my last toe-ring in Mackinac. When I go to the
Ren Fest in a few weeks, I'm looking for sparkly toe rings. The Ren Fest is a great place to find toe rings and sparkly adornments.
