Re-upped my gardenandhearth.com contract.
Last spring, during a slow month I started doing web content writing - fairly brainless stuff, mostly for the now defunct pagewise. Wrote keyword-rich 500 word articles on everything from aquatic cars to pest control in Texas. Paid $15 per article - really easy money for sitting on my butt at home. I could make $30 drinking coffee first thing in the morning, then go to work. Too bad pagewise folded or I'd probably still write for them, it was fun.
Somewhere in there, I became contributing editor at this
painting and wallpapering micro-site for gardenandhearth. Overall,
G&H is a pretty good site. Most articles are well written; many of the contributing editors are freelance writers and knowlegable about their subject.
Anyhow, to my surprise the monthly checks kept coming. I retain rights to everthing published; the revenue comes from ad clicks. I'm only talking about enough to fill my gas tank about 1/2 full once a month mind you! But still, considering each article took less than an hour to write. So, I just renewed the contract with them and the new terms will net me maybe a full tank plus a Starbucks quad grande caramel sauce latte each month and all I have to do is write five more articles in the next five months.
I just sent them one on removing wallpaper, four more to go.
We don't need no steenkin' schedule...
Back when I had multiple employees and different jobs going on simultaneously, keeping everything going smoothly, avoiding downtime and pissed off customers was a constant battle - so many things out of my control!
Weather - a biggie.
Employees missing work.
Clients changing their minds about colours, or doing last minute add-ons.
Other subs not staying on schedule. Painters are one of the last trades in on a remodel or new build; we often depend on the trim carpenters, drywall guys, counters, cabinet guys, all that, to do their thing before we can do ours.
Now it's just me and a couple of part-time helpers, but I learned long ago to stay intentionally vague about start and completion times. Unless of course, there's a deadline or tight schedule. Otherwise I stay in contact with clients lined up in queue, but don't give definite time fraes until I know for sure.
Weekend before last: Plan A was Kat & I work Saturday, then I work alons Sunday and the job gets done over a long weekend.
Kat couldn't come in Saturday, which pushed the job to 3 days. Client changed their mind about colour, another paint store trip, minor hold-up. Then they decided to change all the kitchen cabinet hardware - I was painting the cabinets - and we had hinges that wouldn't hang right, then handles that didn't line up to the holes....there went several hours. I finished up after 8 pm on Monday night. Monday's job got pushed to Tuesday, but Tuesday is a short day for me because I have agility class in the evening. So, really, that one day job ran into a second day.
Which meant that the deck I was to have stained Tues-Wed got put off until doG knows when, since by now it's raining.
But that's OK because Mr McDonald's-franchise is in a sudden big hurry to get the master bedroom and bath done, so I have three people stripping wallpaper all day Wednesday (Kat, the lovely and talented Sylvia and her handsome and talented teenage son Andrew). Except now the carpenter - who was supposed to be there Thursday putting in crown molding and chair rail - is off for a couple of days but will be there Saturday. And the flat screen TV is to be installed Monday morning so that wall has to be done, except we don't have a colour decision until Saturday night. Meanwhile, I am painting a couple of rooms in another house, finish up Saturday, because the floors are coming in Monday.
So I assure Mr McDonald's-franchise I'll be there Sunday to paint the TV wall and the bathroom, with a helper.
Except, turns out we're not really clear on the colour yet, not really. (There is still indecision about which faux finish is going to be done, by Lisa.) And, the carpenter who was supposed to be there Saturday wasn't because the trim wasn't in stock. And the TV won't be installed Monday, after all.
About 1 pm, the colour - Svelte Sage - is finally decided and I'm about to go off to the paint store while Kat finished up prepping the bath walls; at least we can get a first coat on the bathroom.
Then a storm blew in, power went out for miles around, it was real dark and I said fuck it, let's go home. I'll be back tomorrow.
So I went home and took a nap.
Woo hoo.
Oh boy oh boy. I bought a new shop-vac today. It has an extra long hose, 4HP, it's blue and it was on sale at Lowes for $49.95.
Yes, I am working all weekend (again.)
Another big-ass house.
The shutter that's falling off had so many wasp nests behind it, it got pushed away from the brick and the bolt came loose.
The inside of this house is wild, black and gold and purple and green, oh my! I'll get some photos, Lisa is doing some crazy faux things in there.
Classic rock, Dr Laura or NPR.
I wonder why, when a crew of guys are working on a house, they invariably listen to one of those classic rock stations? There was one in the Bay Area - KOME - The KOME spot on your radio! Oh, har har. The Morning Zoo chat, Two-fer Tuesdays, All American rock'n'roll. Maybe there's familiarity and comfort, like McDonalds these stations have pretty much identical formats and playlists all over the country. The DJ's - no wait, are they "radio personalities" now - are sent to classes so they all sound the same.
For a while, before AM talk radio got overrun with fat dittohead yapping and too many commercials, I and the crew would listen to local AM talk shows, those used to be great, back in the day. The dyke crew and I would turn up the Dr Laura show and yell at her, but she wouldn't listen to us, that scrawny bitch. For about three years here in MI, when I just had one fulltime helper - Luke, a sweet, 20-something neo-hippy who smelled evocatively of patchouli and pot but was an excellent worker and everyone loved him - he and I would have seperate walkmans. He'd be listening to the Dead, String Cheese Incident, Phish - crunchy granola let's all get along hippy music old and new. I've listened to NPR while I work for years. Luke & I would yell at each other through the voices in our heads. "
Innagaddadavida, BAY-beee....Hey LUKE, where did you hide the damn sanding pads?....
and today on the Diane Rhem show...under the drop cloth on the kitchen counter!...
daDUMdaDUMdaDUMdadadadaDUM....Ok thanks!...
an author explores the meaning of life..."
I've worked alongside a crew of ladies who did very nice faux painting, and they always turned up the cable TV home decorating shows, which I hate and made me nuts. When we had a couple of apartment contracts, unlucky fate would have it at times when we'd be working alongside the cleaning lady who not only wouldn't STFU with the proseletyzing but listened to some awful Christian radio. Why are Christian radio shows crammed with MLM and get-rich-quick scheme commercials? They really are; what that says about their target demographic makes me wonder.
Well, I almost forgot about the Polish Painters. I used to do quite a bit of work for an architect firm, many of their jobs were huge huge like 8000sf houses and lofts and stuff. So, they'd have us, and the Polish Painters; we'd each have a portion of the job. They had a boombox and listened to Polish punk and garage grunge tapes, now that was pretty interesting!
Speaking of which, my brother sent me an Arab rap CD. It's good, too. Yes. Arab rap music. I know, it just doesn't seem....right. But there you are, it exists and I like it.
I was going to write a whiny little entry about how many hours I am working (apart from my mini-vacation, I've been working every freaking day, often 10+ hours) and after doing dog and other necessary stuff is severely cutting into my cuddling up to the internet time. But I got sidetracked thinking about radios, I guess.
inagaddadavida, BAY-beee, daDUMdaDUMdaDUM, heigh ho, it's off to work we go, tralalalala.
Overly suspicious clients and dark secrets.
Because I get all my jobs via word of mouth "advertising", clients usually - and correctly - assume I'm not going to start going through their cupboards looking for things to steal, or riffling through their mail in search of dark secrets. Like many small contractors, I am given house keys, garage keypad and alarm codes or whatever I need to get into the house while the homeowners are at work. I can see being more cautious when it's a company hired through the yellow pages or something.
Mind you, I have inadvertently found a few "dark secrets." Like the time I pulled a stove out to paint behind it, and found several XXX videos stashed there. Gotcha Mister, your wife is an A-cup and you have all these busty babe videos, hahahaha. Or when spraying a basement ceiling, I noticed some papers on top of one of the joists, only visible from the ladder. When I climbed up to move them out of the way, I discovered a stack of bank statements in the husband's name only. Gotcha, again. Or the case of K-Y jelly under the bed in the master bedroom. No,I don't ever let on, to anyone! Or at least not in any way which would identify people.
However, every once in a while, someone will be unwilling to let me into the house in their absence, or will sort of follow me around while I work. I try not to take this personally and assume they're like this with everybody, but it is annoying and even unsettling. I had one client - years ago - who, once I got the job, gave me times I could be in the house working. "On Tuesday and Thursday I am at the gym until 11 am, so you can come to work then. Next Monday I won't be home, but you can be here at 9 am Tuesday." And so on. Good grief, that was a pain in the ass; had I known there were these restrictions I would've charged a lot more since it took me much longer to do the job! Plus, she followed me around - very nice people really, and she cooked nice lunches for me too. But still.
She must have decided I was trustworthy, at least sort of. They called me back the next year to give an estimate for painting the rest of the house, and I'm ashamed to say I fibbed and said I was terribly busy and it would be at least two months before I could do any work there, so they found someone else.
Once, we painted a condo for one of the Denver Broncos players - often in the news for altercations with his wife. Anyhow, we were told by the decorator that he had hidden cameras all over the place (trust issues with the wife, I'm guessing.) Boy, that'll make you awfully careful about saying or doing anything you don't want immortalised on tape! We were scared to scratch our butts, let alone make editorial comments on their choice of color, decor, reading material or contents of the medicine cabinet, haha. Actually no, I don't bother peeking in medicine cabinets either. I'm just not interested.
In the rare (it seems rare, any more) occurence I'm in a home where there's lots of books on bookshelves, I do scan them - I
love books and reading & find it interesting to see what people read.
I talked to a cleaning lady once who said in every home she cleaned, she pretended there were cameras in every room and acted accordingly. I never thought of it that way - I'd feel paranoid, I think! But honestly I - and I imagine most trades type people - am there to work, I'm not going to waste my time going through personal effects. I've had people do work in my house, in my absence and haven't given it much thought. I suppose I would'nt leave wads of cash around if I didn't know them well, and if there was anything I really didn't want someone to see, I'd stash it, clean it up, whatever.
Actually if someone is very cagey, I wonder just what it is they are hiding. Once, years ago, we had a couple act funny about having this detached garage painted when we were painting the exterior. Turns out they were growing some weed in there, had grow lights and a nice little set up. Whatever. Now, if it had been a meth lab, I would have contacted The Authorities. Meth is nasty and bad and wrong. Pot? Ehhh, so what, go for it. It's been years since I got high - decades almost. I don't even drink any more, so there you are. Personal choice, I don't care if others do, even in my own house, as long as they're not hurting anyone else or getting obnoxious.
Actually, this just reminded me. Not too long ago, helper and I painted the whole interior of a house while the owners were on vacation. I love that - don't have to worry about inconveniencing people or leaving a mess at the end of the day, it's much easier. We pulled this big-ass, heavy bedroom dresser the size of a Buick away from the wall and found a big-ass sparkly ring wedged between the wall and the dresser. I left it on top. Turned out, it was big-ass expensive bling lost several years ago and they had given it up as gone forever.
Today is Sunday and I'm off to work. Lovely older couple with a beautiful back yard. I'm painting their kitchen cabinets, hallway and guest bath. Before I go there, I have to meet two helpers who are going to start stripping wallpaper in a humungous master bedroom and bath (my house could almost fit inside it) and set them up with ladders and a steamer and all that stuff. Best get going, it is going to be another long day...
The lovely and talented Larry.
That's the lovely and talented Larry, an oldtime paint guy who's owned Trio Paint in Burton MI since the 1960s. He carries
Graham paint, an excellent product. He's one of a dying breed - little independent paint stores. Don't say the words Sherwin Williams, Home Depot, Walmart or Lowes in front of him! That sends him into long, bitter, muttering tirades about big chain stores carrying inferior products, and if there's no old ladies in the store he uses lots of naughty swear words.
To all six of my regular readers - don't you dare buy Behr paint from Home Despot. It is truly horrible stuff and if you buy any I will come over and spank you.
That's Larry and his lovely and talented helper Ann, who also knows a thing or two.
I do ocasionally run to Sherwin Williams for the odd paint order and I must say they have better-looking paint guys (hi, Fabio!) Although SW paint is a bit cheaper for me , I like to support independent business, and while SW has a wider range of paints and specialty coatings I prefer Graham for much of my work.
Other things I don't like about SW:
Those STUPID plastic paint buckets!!!!
You can't use them for cut buckets, what's up with that?
It's difficult to pour all the paint out.
They are not environmentally friendly.
You can't stir the paint.
When used once and resealed, the paint dries in the channel around the top of the bucket and welds the lid on so tight you have to beat on the damn thing with a hammer, repeatedly, to remove the lid.
Plus, around the time SW bumped their prices up, they stopped selling gallons. That's right. A gallon of paint is no longer a gallon of paint there, it's
less. They don't tell you this. After decades of walking into paint stores and asking for a gallon of something-or-other, I feel like I should ask for 30.36 fluid ounces of Snickerdoodle Pink. Feh.
And, there have been quite a few times I've stopped in for something really basic - white interior semi gloss, or something in an ultra-deep base and they've been out of it! Now, we are talking the largest paint company on the planet, you'd think they would be better at predicting customer needs. Larry is never out of anything.
OK, I apologise for leaving you with that dorky painter joke, it was pretty bad.
I had a nice mini-vacation; here's a photo of me having a lovely time on Mackinac Island.
Go forth, and thin no more....
Off on a mini-vacation up north - here's a silly painter joke.
A painter had won the contract for a large tract of homes. Half way through the project he realized he had underestimated.
In an effort to remain solvent he resorted to thinning his paint.
Months later while asleep, he was tossing and turning. In a vision an angel came to him.
"What do you want of me" asked the painter.The angel's only reply was, "repaint, you thinner."
Five things in my work truck.
In the "extra cab" part behind the seats.
1: A black and white sheepskin hide from Scotland. I cannot remember why that's there, but it is very nice and soft and makes my truck smell like a Scottish sheep.
2: Cloth bag filled with paint color decks from about every paint manufacturer in the country.
3: Two week old Sunday NYT. In case I have to sit and wait for something or other, then I have something to read if I run out of phone calls to make.
4: Ox hair bristle brush, for doing very nice varnishing.
5: My emergency medical kit in a pink plastic box. Contains: Bandaids. Tweezers. Baby wipes. Crabtree & Evelyn "Sping Rain" scented lotion. A small plastic toy fox. Cacharel "Anais Anais" perfume. Swiss Army knife. Carmex lip balm in a tube (I call those my little yellow penises.) A packet of marigold seeds.
So you see, I am ready for any medical emergency.
Would you laugh or cry?
Or give the little darlings away to gypsies? Send them to art school? Or smack whoever left paint accessible to the kids?
Oops.
Years ago, I left a bunch of paint, different colors, stashed outside a house, behind a garden shed for the weekend. I didn't know the homeowners were giving their son a birthday party. With lots and lots of other three year olds. Inquisitive ones. Active - fueled no doubt by birthday cake. Who figured out how to open a can of blue paint all by themselves...
You have no idea how far half a gallon of blue paint will go when it's being tracked through a back yard by an unruly gang of toddlers. Much further than the 350 square feet coverage noted on the label!
Luckily, the parents were free spirits who thought it was great their wee darlings had such a creative time. I about died when I showed up on Monday - flagstones, grass, trees, a picnic bench - everything daubed, spattered and smeared with paint.
I've learned since then to be much, much more careful about where I leave paint, and not to underestimate the ingenuity of toddlers.
Why I'm an atheist painting chickie, part 2.
Well really, I'm probably more of an agnostic.
Anyhow, Leigh-Ann had
this entry on Blogpound. Read it!
My comment on her blog involves painting, so it's relevant to my blog too. :)
Th chickie writes a book!
OK, well I just wrote the cover. Click on it for a full size image - I did this using this
silly tool.
Best I can come up with this week (which is pretty pathetic, I know) because I am working 12 hour days to get a house done by Sunday.
